Dear Humans,
Lo, President Donold’s notorious Epstein ballroom funding is dead in the Senate, and all because he wants to give billions of dollars to MAGA pedo-terrorists via a slush fund.
Even Mitch McConnell heard about Donold’s latest corruption scheme and said: absolutely the fuck not.
Grab your popcorn, humans. It’s time for God’s Morning Report.
If you’re new, make sure to join our community today.
1. Trump Humiliated As Republicans Kill His Ballroom Over “Utterly Stupid” Slush Fund
I told you this was coming.
Trump wanted a billion dollars for his stupid ballroom, so he can hold teen beauty pageants there. He wants to make the White House into another Epstein island.
BUT! As I wrote about on Monday, the Senate parliamentarian ruled Republicans couldn’t sneak it through reconciliation, meaning Donold’s Epstein bunker suddenly needed 60 votes.
And just when he was planning to put a ‘Drone Empire’ on the roof to guard the pedophiles within.
He’s terrified of the American public. He’s terrified of being mocked by comedians. He’s fucking terrified.
So anyway, Republicans tried to sneak the Epstein bunker funding into a giant immigration bill instead.
lAnd then it blew up in their faces.
Why? Because Republicans would also have to vote on Trump’s $1.8 billion “anti-weaponization” fund, which would give millions and millions of dollars to January 6 criminals, terrorists, and pedophiles. Oh my. They’d have to defend using tax dollars to make J6 terrorists into millionaires.
Rep. Jim McGovern nailed it: “it took forever to compensate victims of 9/11, but suddenly they found billions for convicted felons who attacked democracy.”
AMEN!
Then Mitch McConnell called the fund “utterly stupid” and “morally wrong.” And when Mitch McConnell criticizes your morality, I mean, holy shit, you must be fucking evil.
So now Donold doesn’t have the votes for his ballroom or his slush fund. And it will only get harder from here as both of these issues become more and more unpopular for him.
This means: NO $1 billion for his Epstein ballroom and NO $1.776 billion for Donald’s MAGA Pedophile Terrorist Slush Fund. It’s a major defeat heading into Memorial Day Weekend.
But you don’t have to believe God. Just look at how he’s responding!
When asked by a reporter on losing the Senate due to GOP backlash to his ballroom and J6 slush fund:
"I don't know. I only do what's right. I don't need money for the ballroom. Not for me, because I'll be gone."
BWAHAHA! Now he’s pretending he doesn’t need the money.
2. Trump HUMILIATES Own Son Over Wedding
Would Trump really skip his own son’s wedding and blame Iran?
Is that a question? LOL.
God and Jesus react to one of the weirdest Trump family moments he’s ever had, Watch here:
3. God Smote A Troll
Meanwhile on Threads, some MAGA influencer announced she was done debating liberals.
So I replied:
“You support a pedophile.”
She didn’t debate me on it.
I keep using that retort because it’s the truth, me-dammit!
And I’ll keep saying it till he’s fucking gone.
4. Your Reviews Are In
Lo, paid subscriber Sarah Davis Oaks wrote:
“I love you God. You are awesome and mighty. Therefore, I have subscribed to your Substack.”
Bless you, Sarah.
May your blessings multiply and your enemies step on Lego forever.
5. A Message From God
This is what your support builds: the letters, the videos, the interviews, the jokes, and this whole weird holy machine.
Thank you to everyone who joined yesterday. We gained 11 new awesome humans. If just 10 more step up today, we’ll keep growing strong this May.
Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed. The depression and anxiety from being on the frontlines of this war every day is real. Whether it be through reporting or threats, the enemy comes to knock you down.
But I always get back up again. I smite harder. Because I refuse to let these evil bastards win.
I have not yet begun to fight!
We’re building an independent media source that tells the truth, one that doesn’t bend the knee to corporate media or billionaire masters.
If you believe in that mission, and you’ve been meaning to support this work, now’s the time.
Bless you, humans. Thank you for standing with us.
Love,
God











You guys actually censored the outie bellybutton in your video clip!😂
I hope that guy got his hernia checked out.
& listen to the felon's "slurpiness." Because he isn't automatically swallowing saliva. Choking & aspiration risk.