Thou Shalt Not Start A War Because Everyone Hates You

The 'Board of Peace' started WW3 so fast.

Dear Humans,

I hope you’re having a relatively relaxing weekend, even in the middle of all this chaos. Thank you for being here. Right wing billionaires now own and control every single major news network. But they don’t own us. You’re the only reason God’s left wing newsletter still exists. If you’re able, please consider joining today as a subscriber.

Lo, last night while you slept, the United States and Israel launched major strikes on Iran in what the Pentagon is calling “Operation Epic Fury.”

More like, “Operation Epic Fury Over His Low Polls.”

Or “Operation Fully Exonerated.”

Let’s just go with “Operation Epstein.”

Here, I’ll explain it like he would.

PRESIDENT EPSTEIN IS BIGLY WORRIED OVER HIS FAILING POLL NUMBERS SO HE START ILLEGAL WAR WITH IRAN! HIS POLLS ARE TOTALLY UNDERWATER!!! HE WILL LOSE MIDTERMS AND GET IMPEACHED AND ARRESTED!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!

But he won’t go quietly. No, he’s going to go kicking and screaming like the 80-year-old toddler he is.

Hang in there, humans. He’s going to lose. And he knows it.

After that he’s going to burn in Hell for all eternity. And he knows that too.

Love,

God

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