Thou Shalt Not Obsess Over Teen Sperm When Plagues Are Spreading

Can I get a freaking amen?!

Dear Humans,

Lo, yesterday at the White House, Sleepy Donald once again fell asleep in front of the cameras, whilst RFK Jr. once again whined that teenage boys are not making enough sperm for his liking.

1. RFK Jr. Picked A Hell Of A Time For Teen Sperm Talk

Lo, hantavirus is in the news. Heard about it? Measles is spreading. Bird flu is still spreading. Covid never went away either. Even polio is making a comeback thanks to anti-vax morons.

And what is America’s Health Secretary focused on?

TEEN SPERM LEVELS! Teenage boys are not producing enough semen for RFK Jr’s liking. It’s his number one concern!

He literally never shuts up about it:

“In 1970, men had twice the sperm count as our teenagers do today,”

This weird loser is OBSESSED.

He made the comment during a White House maternal health event while describing declining fertility as an “existential crisis.”

That’s right, this was basically his message to moms on Mother’s Day:

“Unlike me, your sons are not producing enough cum to knock you up.”

Maybe focus on the diseases first and teen cum later?

Or never. How about never?

Between the Epstein files and RFK Jr’s obsession with teen cum, God has HAD it with all these pedo-fascist FREAKS.

2. Sleepy DonOLD Was Not Blinking

Meanwhile, Donald Trump slept through the event with his eyes fully closed and his mouth drooping and drooling in plain sight.

Then the White House Rapid Response account tried to convince everyone he was merely “blinking.”

They would have us believe this soon to be 80-year-old is not falling asleep and stroking out in front of everyone’s eyes on a constant basis.

And if you don’t believe their bald-faced lie, then it means you’re an “absolute moron.” False. They are the absolute morons. They spend their lives telling lies for a megalomanic pedophile.

3. God’s Final Word

A president falling asleep while RFK Jr. rambles about teen sperm is, objectively, one of the dumbest things I have ever seen, and I invented the platypus.

But this is how people get hurt.

If you put a deranged lunatic in charge of medicine, and a visibly dying old criminal in charge of the country, you’re gonna have a bad time.

But while they’re busy gaslighting Americans, diseases are spreading.

So we’ll keep mocking them. We’ll keep calling out their blatant lies. And we’ll keep fighting, because somebody has to, me-dammit!! Because fascism is not going to stop itself. Because the stakes are too damn high.

Because I categorically refuse to let these fascist clowns win.

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive — it’s a stand for rebellion, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

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Love,

God