Dear Humans,
BEHOLD! Today, justice hath struck the tech overlords. Wall Street is in shambles after Silicon Valley’s ‘magnificent 7’ lost a combined ONE TRILLION DOLLARS thanks to DeepSeek, a new open-source AI app from a small indie developer in China that doesn’t even need NVIDIA chips to run. Let’s break it down and enjoy the DESTRUCTION of the latest scam from the tech bros.
1. The Smite They Never Saw Coming
DeepSeek launched, and within hours, Silicon Valley’s house of cards began collapsing. Stocks for NVIDIA, Meta, and Microsoft tanked, wiping out billions in market value. The most ironic part? DeepSeek was developed for a fraction of the billions Silicon Valley demanded from taxpayers and doesn’t even require NVIDIA chips to run.
To put this in context, Trump announced a huge $500 billion ‘StarGate’ development plan just last week with Open AI. Elon was so jealous he had a fit and threw a Nazi salute. DeepSeek was developed as a side project for the cost of $5 million dollars.
These tech bros spent years lobbying for taxpayer funding, promising AI domination, only to get dethroned by an app that’s open-source and free for anyone to use.
And now? Their AI monopoly dreams are in ASHES. Today, Silicon Valley learned what happens when you bet everything on greed instead of innovation. At a time like this, I can’t help but remember that time David slayed the absolute ever-loving shit out of Goliath.
2. Why This Changes Everything
DeepSeek has made their overpriced AI race irrelevant. Billions spent on research, lobbying, and NVIDIA’s fancy chips are now worthless. DeepSeek doesn’t just challenge Big Tech—it obliterates their entire business model.
Think about it: why pay for AI tools when you can get the same (or better) performance for free? This is the biggest disruption since the internet, the greatest accidental innovation since Viagra, and the tech bros have no idea how to recover. A trillion-dollar loss in one day isn’t just a bad day at the office—it’s a me-damn reckoning.
3. God’s Final Word
Rejoice. This isn’t just a loss for the tech bros; it’s a win for humanity. For too long, they held all the power, using it to extract wealth and control. Today, they got a taste of humility.
SMITE!
4. Join the Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.
We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.
"I've always enjoyed your FB posts. This inauguration, I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!" — Nancy
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 8 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
You know a Smite is a smite and even though this one appears to be kind of accidental, good job. And we didn't even need the department of government deficiency oops efficiency.
To quote that brilliant philosopher of our time, Nelson Muntz, "HA HA!!!"