Dear Humans,
The vile slob-goblin Elon Musk showed up to a White House press event today sporting a fresh black eye.
SMITE!
When reporters asked what happened, he claimed his 5-year-old son punched him in the face during some father-son “roughhousing.”
This is big if true. After all, earlier this year little X:
Told Trump to ”shut the fuck up and go away”
Said Elon is the president
Wiped his boogers on Trump’s desk
And now you’re telling me he punched Elon in the face and gave him a black eye? He has no idea but he’s clearly already enlisted in the cause.
Do I believe Elon on this excuse? Not really. That shot would be one in a million, kid. But it’s certainly plausible.
OTHER SUSPECTS:
Stephen Miller did it (couldn’t punch his way out of a paper bag)
Stephen Miller’s wife did it (just left White House to work under Elon)
Too much ketamine and walked into a door (This is it)
Maggie Simpson (She did shoot Mr. Burns)
Who do you think punched him on his ‘last day’ in the White House?
Whatever happened, it’s hilarious.
The Dogefather got dog-walked.
God is real, y’all.
Love,
God
The possibilities are so endless. Perhaps Elon has repented his many sins and punched himself in the face! Or slapped himself. If I were Elon I would look myself in the mirror daily, slap myself, and ask what further penance should be done. But it’s not for me to wreak vengeance, for that belongs to God. And the investors in Tesla.
one of his baby mamas'