96 Comments
User's avatar
Tracy L Cooper's avatar

He obviously received bad news at his six month, annual physical.

My only worry is, how many does he plan to take with him.

KHKate's avatar

You said it. I figured that this means that he's at death's door. Hope it opens and shuts before he can pull anyone else in.

Lizzie's avatar

As he obviously has been told his days are numbered, he is worried about where he spends the hereafter.

I hope when St Peter gives him the bad news, he thinks about why he’s in the elevator going down. 🔥

Lizzie's avatar

Don’t worry, Donny, your daddy 👺 has a hot date waiting for you! 🔥🔥🔥

The Smite of all Smites! 😊

David Walker's avatar

“Hot date” has a whole ‘nother meaning in this instance. This could be a great meme. Let’s think of all the things Donold can look forward to once he’s in the here-under-after:

—No golf courses or clubs, but a room full of exercycles and Stairmasters.

—Only rare hamberders with no ketchup

—Pinewood outhouses—really smelly—with not a hint of gold-tinted schmalz anywhere

—Plenty of swimming pools with beautiful young girls in them, and an equal number of sharks swimming around with them.

—Jeffry Epstein (resident host) dines with him regularly to remind him of all their shared secrets. Extra points for talking about the young girls in the swimming pools.

OK, folks, have at it.

Tim's avatar

All the young girls are terminally bleeding out of their 'whatevers'.

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

And they keep pointing at him and laughing … and SNORTING at him, and half of them have frog costumes…

Nancy's avatar

And he's naked, so they're pointing "southward"...and whatever diseases he picked up along the way in his personal "Hanoi Hilton" are back with a vengeance. I hear syphilis is especially nasty...and can be passed on from father->mother to child via the womb, so that could explain Eric and Don Jr. ;)

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

Warts are pretty nasty. Warts could explain Eric and Don Jr. too. Just look at

'em.

P J Johnston's avatar

He's used to going down escalators NOT elevator!

Karen Hockemeyer's avatar

An elevator is too lovely. Hell will open a hole in the Earth where his spirit stands, and he will fall through a wall of scorching flames until he lands in the lava and swirls around until Hell flushes. Then he will spend time in David Walker's hell, only to have the Earth open up again, and he will fall until the denizens of down under grow tired. Then he will be reborn as a dung beetle. His life span will be a few months to 3 years, or be eaten by prey, where once again, the denizens of the underworld will play with him again, this time inviting Hitler, Mussolini, Peron, and Stalin to join him, and they can reminisce together and endure all of their previous tortures together. Then, after time passes, they will again experience centuries more as dung beetles, with vacations in hell. Over time, they will be joined by other murderous autocrats and their henchmen.

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

He could spend a few hundred incarnations as a "wriggler" and mosquito that gets pecked up, sprayed and slapped every time. How about a leech that gets salt poured on it?Over and over?

Karen Hockemeyer's avatar

A dungeon beetle. That's what Trump and ICE, and all their others are. DUNG BEETLES.

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

You're right… The Rump produces nothing but dung.

Nancy's avatar

Aw, c'mon! At least dung beetles serve a purpose; in ancient Egypt, they were considered sacred, as the scarab that rolled the ball of the Sun around in the sky. Without things like dung beetles, vultures, all the rest of the "clean-up crew," we'd be elbow-deep in dung and corpses before too long. :-/

Nothing so useful as a dung beetle for him; I agree with Bronwyn on mosquitos (even leeches still have a part to play in legitimate medicine, though not as much as in the old days). ;)

Karen Hockemeyer's avatar

You are so right, but reincarnation has to involve a living entity. I thought, while useful, a dung beetle spends its life in dung and rotting corpses. Fiery hell and shit are the perfect place for the Donald to spend eternity. Unlike his life as a dung beetle, he will do something useful.

Lisa Nystrom's avatar

My dear friend who worked in hospice before you called her home told me that happens a lot with selfish pricks facing their own mortality. Great post this morning!💪❤️Keep bringing the 🔥!

Carol M Myers's avatar

Actually, maybe all his loyalists will follow him to the end, straight to Hell.

Unsub #3's avatar

From your lips to God’s ears!

God's avatar

I heard that!

Carol M Myers's avatar

I should add, straight off the cliff and into hell!

Sarah3000's avatar

This is the only time in his life that he won't be able to fail upward. I'd hate to see his book of life, it's a handbook of how to go straight to Hell.

Tim's avatar

For supplemental reading, check out Mein Kampf.

Sarah3000's avatar

I think I'll pass. Mein Kampf is Hitler's manifesto for fascism. I'm already getting the crash course in real time thanks to Trump. Why read it when you can experience it in real time as a minority like me? It's much more traumatizing that way.

Tim's avatar

We're all getting a crash course in fascism these days.

Nancy's avatar

Y'know what's spooky? Apparently, anywhere from 2/3 to 3/4 of /Mein Kampf/ was PLAGIARIZED straight from the German translation of "The International Jew," a compilation of the writings of...

Henry Ford.

THAT Henry Ford.

One of our boys.

And a massively, MASSIVELY anti-Semitic dickhead. X-P

At one point, he got this ginormous medal from a foreign country that was pretty obvious as to its origins: had certain types of eagles and swastikas all over it. X-P

Apparently, he treasured it. :-/

https://www.cracked.com/article_23252_5-awful-ways-america-influenced-hitler-without-knowing-it.html

https://www.cracked.com/article_20712_5-lost-documents-that-shatter-your-image-famous-people.html

(number 3 on that second link)

Tim's avatar

Prescott Bush, H.W.'s dad, was part of a cabal of political and military leaders who, in the 30s, planned a coup to overthrow Roosevelt and turn the US into a fascist state. This shit's been around for a long time, yes.

Nancy's avatar

REALLY? Yeah, I've heard about that li'l coup-to-be scheme; they called upon a military hero, a Marine who was in WWI, etc., and he turned right around and testified against them all to Congress.

Absolutely nothing happened to them, of course, other than maybe a scolding, since they were all like Fortune 500ers. :-/

Murray's avatar

It appears President Pedo may be following the model of Kubler-Ross:

Denial Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Sounds like his play-list except for the Acceptance part.

I am by no means a saint and the only way I will get into Heaven would be if one of our dear pups holds open their doggie-door next to the Pearly Gates…

Joy B's avatar

Asking for forgiveness is the key.

Tim's avatar

But don't you remember from his 2016 campaign: He doesn't think he needs forgiveness.

Tim's avatar

My idea of Heaven is being covered up by all the animals I loved while I was alive.

Carol M Myers's avatar

I wish all the other evil players in this regime would worry about going to heaven, as well they should.

Unsub #3's avatar

They worry. Why else would they continue to go to church? But their ideas of being a Christian are warped by hate, bigotry, misogyny and fear, tormented by a lack of education and critical thinking. They never read their bibles…just count on a church leader to cherry-pick from it to make themselves feel better.

Nancy's avatar

Ironically, wasn't one of the points of Protestantism in the first place was that we shouldn't have to rely on some church authority to tell us what the Bible said and what we should think and believe in (Christianity-wise, at least)? That we should be able to read it for ourselves and make up our own minds? :-/

It's why King James did that translation into vernacular English (and his committee [seriously? a committee??], knowing what they knew about him, apparently tossed out his compiled sources and just wrote up what he'd want to hear/read, but that's another story), so everyone in the U.K. wouldn't be "tainted" by the Latin version, or something. X-P

It could be argued that's why the Age of Enlightenment started up right after the Baroque period...

Unsub #3's avatar

My favorite quote for religious zealots is “If you need the threat of eternal damnation to be a good person…you’re not a good person”.

Jane in NC's avatar

He's lobbying to get into heaven the same way he lobbied for the Nobel Peace Prize. The result will be the same.

God's avatar

exactly 😂

Leu2500's avatar

He keeps getting bad news from his doctors.

Judi Purcell's avatar

But if he has more or less accepted that he won't get into heaven, then he gives himself free rein to do all the evil things he can. At least he will be remembered.

Betsy L's avatar

Just like we remember Hitler, Pol Pot, and Captain Bligh.

Nancy's avatar

Actually, from everything I've heard, Captain Bligh was one of the /best/ captains to serve under in the Royal Navy, from the way he actually treated his crew to his amazing feat of making it all the way back to England after having been dumped into a rowboat off Tahiti (full of yummy food that wasn't hard tack, lovely girls, etc., etc., etc...).

But the Royal Navy was a pretty shitty gig in the first place (it's one reason why there were a lot of pirates about the same time; better getting hung than work for those assholes), and Bligh's hands were pretty tied, no matter what he tried to do for his sailors:

https://www.cracked.com/article_17205_6-historical-villains-who-were-actually-ok-guys.html

(number 2 on that list)

But between the book (written 143 years later) and the various movies/TV shows, he got tarred with a very nasty brush. :(

P J Johnston's avatar

LOVE the Art God! The fence and the billboard are great examples of the disgust in this country. They need to move from the middle east and get back to work in our country. And I'm not talking about ICE or National Guard. Hard to believe we're only 9+ months into this term and what have they achieved so far? Chaos, sowing fear, bad bill decisions and tariffs all meant to break our country apart! Heaven can wait! Hell is here on earth! Smite God please!

Nancy's avatar

I think he's deliberately trying to destroy us. Not sure why; probably has a lot to do with his Big Daddy Putin and whatever loans and blackmail and other crap he's got hanging over his head. X-P

DW Davis's avatar

Trump should stop worrying about going to Hell and accept it as a given.

Betsy L's avatar

Does Dumpy not understand that if he wants to go to heaven, maybe he should think first before sticking two fingers into a woman's lady parts and curling them a fw times back in the changing rooms of a Bergdorf's? No, that's technically not rape according to the laws of New York State, but for most women it's a distinction lacking a difference. He should also think before he calls that same woman a cunt as she leaves the courtroom. Maybe he should think before he screws over farmers and people whose health care subsidies are going to expire. A little introspection about calling a man, who thinks that the loss of children's lives are a reasonable price to pay to preserve our 2nd Amendment rights, a martyr wouldn't come amiss either.

Maria K.'s avatar

I don't know... I don't think hell wants him either. I mean - even Satan has standards. Maybe you two should ask whoever runs the limbo.

Deb Dunton's avatar

Satan is stoking the flames as we speak. Prepping for DT’s arrival 🔥🔥

Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

I once Criscoed a Slip ‘n Slide, and I’d do it again, but this time the greasy ride would point toward Hell.