42 Comments
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Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Donald Trump is no more (a) President of the United States of America than a taxi driver is a taxidermist.

Dave Cassenti's avatar

Actually, there’s always the chance for a taxi driver to legally become a taxidermist. There’s no legal way for insurrectionist to become president. Republicans in Congress had to ignore their oath to protect Trump’s election. So I don’t view him as legitimately being president.

Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Yes, that was a given. A taxi driver has far more intelligence than Donald Trump. Any taxi driver. Anywhere in the world. The brass cricket on my hearth contributes more than Trump. Trump only contributes that which belongs in a toilet bowl.

Dave Cassenti's avatar

Even the toilet bowl doesn’t want what he has.

Niquie Hutchison's avatar

And toilet bowls have been known to howl in indignation, Dave.

Pinky:

"What was that awful noise, Brain?"

"It's the toilet bowl Trump Dump Howl, Pinky, designed to scare the shit out of you."

Ranger Adams's avatar

The last time Trump lived in OUR Whitehouse; he was constantly plugging the toilets with pieces of our constitution that he didn't like. The costs of plumbers along should have been enough to impeach that LOW-CLASS LOUT! It took four years to get the STENCH of Trump out of that house. This time it might be worth burring it down to the foundations so long as Trump dies within it or hiding in the basement like he did when he feared the peaceful BLM would drag him out and rightfully hang him.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

That's true - by his own telling, he has to flush fifteen times. Even my husband after three days on codeine didn't have to flush THAT much. Someone should give him a Presidential hammer to break it up with. . .

Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Omg...15 flushes? If Trump can't get rid of his own shit, what the hell chance do the rest of us have with it? BTW: Codeine, like all the pain killing crap you take by mouth or you get intravenously for any surgery is Liquid Cork. Embrace the soft stool OTC meds ahead of time. Now, isn't this fitting? Here we are talking about Trump and Shit in the same post. And ever shall it be....

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Feb 6, 2025
Comment deleted
Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Gerri, it's good to laugh...even dark humor has its benefits. And as the saying goes "When life gives you lemons, buy vodka."

Nancy's avatar

OMG, I haven't heard that one... X-D

Excellent! :D

Vicki Bruning's avatar

May I share your insightful quote? Laughing so hard!

Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Vicki, if your reply is directed to me, by all means share! I also share recipes. I have no use for people who will not share, especially recipes. As Penzey's motto says "If you love people, cook for them." And I do. So, come tug on my coat sleeve if you can't find a recipe for something you want to make. If I have it, if I know how to make it, I will share.

Vicki Bruning's avatar

Niquie Hutchinson, many thanks!! you made my day so much brighter!

Niquie Hutchison's avatar

Back atcha, Vicki. And remember our mantra:

"Thou shalt not let low-vibin', sketchy-ass energy penetrate thy aura."

Caroline's avatar

I knew this would happen. Most of these people already had records. Congratulations, Tronald Dump!

LuciaRegan's avatar

MAGA is a terrorist organization. The republicans are just as corrupt and incompetent as their fearless leader.

Lisa Ferrara's avatar

In case anyone is interested in reading a short story featuring the orange goon as a LITERAL piece of shit that is bought and paid for by Lone Skum.

https://medium.com/@PoetryEmotion/the-trump-dump-ad233d6861e2

Enjoy!

Sally Burton's avatar

I knew there was a reason for my faith in both Karma and You. And here it is.

Steffi seitz's avatar

You have the greatest blogs. Keeping me laughing while digesting the news!! Keep it up

Jan Frederick's avatar

It looks like these Magats don't even know how to write a sentence! No wonder they are so ignorant! I guess they are going to get some of those "immigrant" jobs, you know, hard labor jobs that no one else wants.

God, keep showing us those disgruntled post from Magats! It brings a little happiness, at least. Thank you, God! Amen! Awomen!

Lady Emsworth's avatar

I know there's a lot of pleasure in schadenfreude - but I can't help feeling sorry for a lot of them. So many of the "I regret it" posts you see are from old people, who grew up believing in "The Republican Way." And for years, that wasn't a bad way to feel. It might not have been how your Democrat neighbor felt - but it didn't stop you going to his barbeque. They don't realise the Republican Party is dead and gone, and only MAGA remains. And a lot of the others are ignorant - not stupid, just the result of years of education by Fox and a dismantled school system.

Nancy's avatar

My school teacher mom could see it way back when, probably as a result of the Baby Boom, when every institution had to try to play catch-up after they insisted that women just sit at home and make babies (sounds familiar, come to think...), even on top of what a world war will do to people's breeding instincts. X-P

But yeah, even Reagan could be flexible-ish. And let's not forget Teddy Roosevelt, who was Republican; Abe Lincoln was the first Republican president, back when the Dems were the insane nut-jobs. Even when Da Ahr-nold governed over California, I was fearing the worst, and yet reasonably, pleasantly surprised that he could "play the game," scratch others' backs if they scratched his, etc. (my best buddy and my husband are both Schwarzenegger Republicans and neither had ever voted for the Trumpster Fire, ever). I didn't agree with everything he said or did, but it wasn't as horrible as I expected, and if Schwarzenegger had been eligible to be president, I would have WAY preferred him over the Mango Mussolini we got. X-P

On the other hand, if he was eligible, so would the Muskrat be... X-P

I blame the Tea Party, frankly (which blamed Obama for existing and being elected). Their severed snake bits (another variant on the "Don't Tread on Me!" flag) each grew complete whole clone pieces and became the MAGAts in far-flung regions. X-P

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Whatever his political beliefs, Arnold seems to be a completely decent human being.

Which would exclude him from running as a Republican nowadays.

Nancy's avatar

Yeah, probably. :( Even when he won in California, I was surprised at his "old school" ways and was expecting the worst. :(

Rachel C's avatar

Ya’ll notice none of them can spell?👹(my new comfort emoji)

Ranger Adams's avatar

One of the things to remember about humans is that "Like seeks like and takes pleasure in the company of its own kind"! Trump pardoned criminals like himself! This disgusting thing fired or will fire most of the TRAINED agents of the FBI? What is funny as HELL to me is that should Trump and Musk get assassinated, nobody will EVER BE CAUGHT because the only agents left only know how to bow, courtesy and kiss Trump's FAT ASS!

HMarquee's avatar

You are correct, Elon musk is running this country. Trump obviously has dementia.

Teddy Gingerich's avatar

I'm betting on that combined with tertiary syphilis.

Molly Burns's avatar

At least SOME of them hold the administration responsible for its actions. smh

Linda N's avatar

Dear God, when that glorious day comes and you banish Trump and Musk to the bowels of Hell, would you please give them a layover of years in a federal prison as cellmates chained at the ankle. I’m not sure how the layover idea fits into your Ten Commandments, but it satisfies the Golden Rule. Screw unto others as they have screwed unto you, me, and the entire non-oligarch population of our little parcel of your magnificent universe.

CaptJim's avatar

tRump has been reduced to a bad joke a best or an obscene meme. He is so confused at this point that he thinks the muskrat is a son that he forgot which wife was the mother.

Nancy's avatar

And if he would be king, he'd definitely tap the Muskrat as his heir, over the other failures. ;-)

Carmen Honacker's avatar

Dear God! I am German and can confirm that "Schadenfreude" is, in fact, the most fitting word in the world. In addition, while I usually want to instantly shoot myself when reading the news, at least I get to have a laugh about HOW you report them.

I've been following you for years on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. While I've deleted my accounts on all of them, I am thrilled I get to follow you on Substack! PLEASE SMITE Drump and Muschi!

Nancy's avatar

Isn't there one of those lovely word-phrases in German that goes something like, "born with a face meant to be punched"? I vote that starts making the rounds, too... ;)

Carmen Honacker's avatar

As a matter of fact, we do! Ohrfeigengesicht, simply means “slap face.” Ohrfeigen are slaps in the face!

Nancy's avatar

Ooh! Love the plural; that's nice and short (the fewer syllables the better, nowadays :-/)! :D

P J Johnston's avatar

I'm not surprised. As a matter of fact NOTHING surprises me anymore. AND in the end all those others will fall as well. I think there's a song that Prince did about this.