Dear Humans,
Lo, the MAGA farmers who once cheered Trump’s tariffs now find themselves drowning in soybeans. Now they’re on video begging Donald “Pedophile Imbecile” Trump to bail them out. His presidency is only 8 months old.
1. You Reap What You Sow
Verily, this is the harvest of MAGA. You reap what you sow. Farm around and forever ye shall surely found out.
Nine percent of America’s soybean crop will go unsold this fall harvest season because China stopped buying. That market is gone. Thanks to Trump’s tariffs, Brazil scooped it up and signed long-term deals with China.
Even if Trump cut a deal tomorrow, China has no reason to crawl back to the American Midwest. The soybeans are rotting, the prices are tanking, and Donald’s “easy to win” trade war has bankrupted the very people who voted for him.
The farmer in the viral clip looks exhausted. “There is not a bushel sold to China right now,” he admits, like a man worried that there won’t be a Christmas this year. And yet, instead of blaming the arsonist antichrist who lit this fire, he begs for his mercy.
Remember when Trump shoveled billions in bailout money to “help” farmers after his first trade war? Most of that went straight to giant agribusinesses while family farms disappeared. The MAGA faithful called it patriotism back then. Now they’re back in line, demanding more government handouts while sneering at socialism for everyone else.
Oh well. If these MAGA farmers do go bankrupt, they can always join ICE. Their ads and commercials are being plastered everywhere now. This one was seen in San Diego:
2. Join The Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Corporate media and billionaires have already bent the knee, but we refuse. We are risking everything to bring truth and laughter to the fight, and your support is a stand for survival and the freedom to speak out.
But here’s the thing… only a very small percentage of readers actually chip in. If even a few more stepped up, we could push back harder, expand our team, and widen the blast radius.
Today’s Testimonial:
""I’m an atheist but feel guilty for reading for free for the last year or so." — Andy
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Bless you, humans.
Love,
God
Yep, even if we do find a way out and the orange dick with ears somehow bites it, we're still fairly well up crap creek because the markets we used to have a hand in no longer exist to us. If we get any piece of that soybean market it'll be a far smaller one than we had prior to Foolius Caesar.
As much as I hate to see family owned businesses go under, I have no sympathy for those clowns. All MAGA seem to think that Trump was only going to go after "those people," not understanding that we are all "those people." FAFO indeed.