Jerkoff Introduces Bill to Make All Porn a Crime

The ultimate FAFO.

Dear Humans,

In accordance with Project 2025, Republican Senator Mike Lee, seen here at CPAC exaggerating his manhood, just introduced a bill that would make all porn a federal crime. Not revenge porn. Not deepfakes. All of it.

The bill is so broad it will ban sex scenes, nudes, drawings such as anime, and whatever else they decide is bad for you.

I would advise his supporters to go fuck themselves, but they might have some trouble with that now.

1. The Ultimate FAFO

This isn’t about morality. It’s about obsession.

These weirdos have always been obsessed with whether or not you’re masturbating.

Speaker Mike Johnson literally uses an app to monitor his own son…and he makes his son monitor his usage too.

2. Government So Small It’s in Your Pants

They love to say they want small government, but somehow it always ends up lodged between your thighs.

They’ll deregulate oil spills but regulate what you do in the shower.

They want to make America great by making sure you never masturbate.

Yes, their cult leader paid off a porn star, but now they’re going to criminalize porn.

The hypocrisy isn’t a glitch. It’s their kink.

3. This Is About Surveillance

To enforce this, they’ll need to monitor everything. Your phone. Your texts. Your files. Your browser history.

This bill gives the government an excuse to watch your every move, then prosecute you for being a normal human being.

Every time one of these guys introduces a bill like this, you can practically hear their hard drive spinning. This is classic projection. They can’t stop thinking about porn, so they’ve decided to make it your problem.

And we all know how this ends. The louder they scream about morality, the weirder the scandal that eventually leaks.

…you masturbate.

4. God’s Final Word

I created light. I created life. I created nipples. And now this sanctimonious little pervert wants to throw people in jail for enjoying what God gave them.

But fear not, for the people shall take this into their own hands.

Thou shalt not criminalize pleasure.

Thou shalt not spy on people for having a libido.

Thou shalt not let sexually repressed weirdos write laws.

5. Join the Rebellion

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Love,

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👍 If you think Mike Lee should mind his own genitals, hit like
💬 Comment if you’re already a criminal under this bill
🔁 Share this if thou shalt not comply