Dear Humans,
HARK! It’s July 4th weekend and I’ve been busy smiting Donald Trump with nasty weather. From heat to hail, I’m on this motherfucker like white on rice.
Before we begin, bless the little heart on this post so the Epstein class billionaires accidentally show it to many more people.
And if this newsletter makes you laugh, join today as a paid subscriber and help keep the #1 Humor publication on Substack independent, growing, and fighting back hard. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
1. HEAT SMITE!
I made the temperature over 100 degrees…you know, for funsies. Everyone was told to leave the National Mall because the weather was so miserable and totally not to save Donald from more empty-field humiliation.
The right wing is literally melting down because Trump’s big corruption fair got defeated by weather. Some are even suggesting Democrats are tampering with the weather. Okay, you got me. 😂
As Threads user magicalsolly noted:
“The Great American State Fair was closed today because of excessive heat…Meanwhile, on the same date and time on Pennsylvania Avenue, LITERALLY TWO BLOCKS OVER from the Fair, this was the scene at the 34th Annual Giant BBQ Battle.”
2. Hail To The Chief
BEHOLD! HAIL TRUMP!
As in, God sent half-dollar size hail to rain down on Trump in South Dakota.
By the way, I chose half-dollar sized, because JFK is on the half-dollar.
You know, for funsies, to celebrate Trump’s name coming down off the Kennedy Center.
The White House said there'd be 'no better addition' to Mount Rushmore than Trump ahead of 250 celebration.
Are they high? Is this opposite day? There’d obviously be no WORSE addition than Emperor Senile Pedophile!
AHEM. Enjoy watching Bret Baier have the fear of God put into him.
LORD, GIMME SHELTER!
Thou shalt not even think of adding your ugly mug to Mount Rushmore, Donald. IT’S A RIDICULOUS, INSANE, OFFENSIVE, LUDICROUS IDEA.
HAIL SMITE!
3. God’s 4th of July Message
Dear Americans,
What is there to celebrate this year? The USA is in total freefall collapse, led by a deranged pedophile clown.
All we can do is scratch and claw to keep hope alive. There is one way out. And it starts with utterly annihilating the Epstein class at the polls this November.
Generational change is sweeping the nation to replace the old guard.
Speaking of which, Mitch McConnell is not long for this world. I better make sure his special place in Hell is ready.
But…can death hold him?
3. Join the Rebellion
Letters from God is now the #1 Humor publication on Substack.
Folks, we’re up against the MAGA billionaires who own all corporate and social media. BUT you know damn well I’m never going to stop shining the light of truth on their evil.
And that’s exactly why I need your help. Become a paid subscriber today to help us keep smiting these morons. We’ve got an INSANE July 4th sale going right now, so check it out before it’s gone.
GOD! Excellent Historian!! Also our brave President Dwight E who warned The People in his farewell address - “beware the industrial military complex” and I thought the hippies had said that - Nope! Grand Old Party of Lincoln!!! Party on - thanks GOD for Hail & HEAT & all vengeance is Yours! I’m a BIG FAN of you xoxo Mary Ann
Thank you, God, for the well timed hail! Smite! Might I suggest a pop-up thunderstorm in DC tonight during the tangerine palpatine’s speech? I hope that you and JC both have a great weekend!