Trump Fans Spent $5,000 To Be Left Out In The Cold

HAHAHAHA

Guy on the right just found out. Guy on the left might be an Ewok.

Dear Humans,

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I can’t stop laughing. First, Donold leaves his supporters out in the cold—literally. Then, they get hit with the double whammy of his crypto grift falling apart in real time. It was quite a weekend for schadenfreude. Buckle up, buckaroos!

1. Literally Left Out in the Cold

Trump’s inauguration ceremony was moved indoors to the Capitol Rotunda due by Donold’s team for “frigid temperatures,” marking the first indoor inauguration since Ronald Reagan’s in 1985. Very obviously however, they’re actually holding it inside because of small crowds. There might be more protestors than attendees. The Rotunda, however, only accommodates around 700 billionaire guests, meaning thousands of fans who traveled from across the country were left in the freezing cold.

MAGA Expense Report:

• Round-trip airfare to D.C.: $500 (if booked early—$1,200 if you waited until the last minute).

• Hotel in D.C. for 2 nights: $600 per night at an overpriced chain ($1,200 total).

• Overpriced meals: $150 for sad sandwiches and lukewarm fast food.

• Official MAGA merch: $80 for a hat, $40 for a commemorative mug, $50 for a cheap fleece.

• Uber rides: $60 because you thought the Metro was “too liberal.”

• “Elite” event tickets: $500 minimum—only to get locked out.

• Lost wages: $1,000 because you took unpaid time off for this disaster.

Total: $3,530–$5,000 (being conservative)

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Cost to fly to D.C. to see Trump’s inauguration? $5,000.

Watching a Trump supporter find out they’ve been conned? Priceless.

Here’s the moment all these Trump supporters found out the inauguration had been moved inside:

2. The Great $TRUMP Coin Collapse

If being physically abandoned wasn’t enough, Trump’s supporters are now learning they’ve been financially abandoned, too. The $TRUMP coin, hyped as the next big thing, crashed as soon as Melania launched her rival $MELANIA coin.

Investors quickly dumped Trump coin, resulting in a $30 billion loss for the morons who invested in it.

Here’s the glorious carnage:

And the best part? Even the Trump subreddit is in full meltdown mode:

“What’s happening- it’s dropping like crazy.”

3. Thou Shalt Mock The Mofos

Today is Inauguration Day…and this one promises to be an Inauseating Day.

You might feel all kinds of things: furious, angry, disgusted. Frightened. And you know what? That’s okay. Because here’s the deal: one way or another, we’re going to laugh our way through this, humans. These evil bastards leave us no choice.

Let this be a lesson—not for them, because they’ll never learn—but for us. We can see through the lies and disinformation. And we’ll keep fighting back with truth, memes, and maybe even a little divine intervention.

As Thomas More said: “The devil, that proud spirit, cannot endure to be mocked.”

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• "I've always enjoyed your FB posts. Today, the day before the inauguration, I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!" — Nancy

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 8 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God