Donold Melts Down Over Portrait

BAHAHA!!!

Dear Humans,

Once again, Donold hath beheld reality and declared it unacceptable. This time, the truth came in the form of oil on canvas.

1. Painted for Realism

It hangs in the Colorado State Capitol beside all the other presidents. Painted by the same artist in the same style. Yet Donold is the only one crying about it. Why? Because it looks just like him. That’s his problem with it. It’s not distorted. Not exaggerated. Just a devastatingly accurate portrayal. BEHOLD!

Donold doesn’t want anyone to see this. You know what to do:

Anyway, OMFG BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

NOTE: We regret to inform you that God is dead.

2. The Emperor Has No Mirrors

BECAUSE HE’S A HUGE BABY, Donold took to Truth Social to accuse the artist of “losing her talent” and the governor of political sabotage. He thinks the governor took time out of their schedule to make sure a bad painting was made of him. He just can’t accept this is what he actually looks like. It’s dead on accurate. It feels like God is looking at a photo.

Has this racist toddler looked into a mirror at any point in the last decade?

3. God's Final Word

I’ll be honest, when I first saw this picture, I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Telling the truth in art is the most rebellious thing anyone can do. It’s a painting. In one building in Colorado. Look at how he’s freaking out.

ME THINKS HE DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH!

He actually said she painted Obama beautifully but made him look bad on purpose. And then demanded they take it down.

I beg of him. Please stop. God is going to puke from hysterical laughter.

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist podcast alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• "I support your work to help me stay sane. I love your political satire since I no longer have a country I can call my own. Never thought that I would find myself living in a freaking autocracy." - Tom

• "Heather Cox Richardson quoted you the other day, so I know God is for real! Yay, God! " - Caiside

• "How are you able to make me laugh and inform me at the same time, with every post and podcast? I finally admitted I need to give you money because I read everything you post." — Nancy M

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, here it is. To celebrate 10 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off on annual plans.

This isn’t just a newsletter anymore. It’s a movement. And it’s growing fast.

🔥 Click Here to Join God’s Rebellion Today

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God