Dear Human,
With only 9 days to go until he becomes a “dictator on day one,” Donold J. Trump has officially become a convicted felon. And let God tell you, he is NOT taking it well.
1. Miserable Prick Will Always Be Miserable
Here’s the deal: Donold was convicted for falsifying business records. No real punishment—he got off easy because he ran for president and won. The judge even called him sir and wished him godspeed.
But was Donold grateful? Of course not.
No, Donold immediately jumped on his website LieSocial and begged the Supreme Court to undo it all.
There is a lot more. He went on and on so I’ll cut him off there.
And now, God shall respond to this petulant child’s heinous fuckery most foul.
2. God Responds To Donold
Shut the fuck up, Donold.
You didn’t get any time, you fucking baby. You don’t have to pay any fines and the judge practically kissed your ass. All you do is whine. You’re an halfwit criminal and you’re about to be the fucking president AGAIN and still you’re whining.
Fuck your feelings, Donold.
You’re just mad ‘cuz everyone will get to legally and officially call you a convicted felon for the rest of your life, and no one can be fact-checked, sued or punished for it, because it’s a matter of historical fact.
Cry me a river, you fucking baby.
3. God’s Final Thoughts
One might say, But God, how can you be happy about this? He didn’t get any prison time.
It matters, my friend. It matters. Why else would he be so concerned with trying to get it undone?
No amount of corporate media kowtowing, spin, or golden-hued propaganda will ever erase the truth: Donold J. Trump is a convicted felon. It’s a box he doesn’t want to be trapped in, but he is. Forever.
While Donold screams into the void, the rest of us move forward, building a better world, a decent world.
4. Join The Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump, a man who literally wants to take over the world, is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every network and billionaire seems to be bending the knee to his fascist ambitions.
We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.
""I supported your work because you say out loud what I'm feeling. I need encouragement and emotional support to get thru the next 4 years." - Rodney
So if you’ve enjoyed today’s righteous reckoning, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. Upgrade your subscription today at 20% off before the sale ends tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and keep the smites coming.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God:
Well said God. With this miserable bully leading the charge against America as he plots against our allies, he creates the means for his own downfall. How much success can really come from being the most hated man on the face of this Earth?
"nothing like this has ever happened in the United States of America, and it should never happen again!" From Assolini's lips to your ears God - DON'T EVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN - get rid of this monster I beg of you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! DONOLD is right - WE THE PEOPLE DID NOT GET JUSTICE! Justice would be seeing this baby behind bars. MANDATE my butt - he won by @23,000 votes only. That is NOT a MANDATE. The only highly conflicted and corrupt judge is Cannon who values her own job over releasing the truth (report on the documents case). I certainly hope Judge Chutkin doesn't fold and releases something about the Federal DC case or someone leaks something about the Documents case.