145 Comments
User's avatar
@lms12311's avatar

He’s beyond redemption. He could cure Cancer, give the cure away for free, and he’s still not worthy of Heaven.

God's avatar

agreed

Derek Smith's avatar

Problem is, Old Scratch doesn’t want him, either. Too much competition.

Kathie's avatar

As a cancer patient having been in a clinical trial, and now just immunotherapy I've had my "anything for a cure" moments, but NO, not from that rat bastard. Pretty sure it would contain bleach 🤬

Nancy's avatar

What Would Jesus Do? He's an awfully forgiving sort; let's hear from The Kid... :)

Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

For months I’ve insisted that that by Thanksgiving, that guy with the muffin-top Oxfords will assume the Elvis position before the crapper in the Mar-a-Lago confidential documents room. I appreciate that Your opinion makes it more likely that I’ll collect on the bet.

SLMontgo's avatar

Oohh, I do like your scenario.

Lisa Nystrom's avatar

Yep, and like with Elvis, tears will be shed — tears of JOY!

Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

The NYT sent Molly Ivins to Memphis to cover Elvis’ funeral “I guess ‘cause I have this accent.” As Rocky Mountain bureau chief (a one-person outfit) she later ran afowl of the Grey Lady when she referred to a Colorado community chicken-processing event as a “gang-pluck.” I miss her!

geraldine Schiavone's avatar

This post made my year thank you !😍

Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Aww, thanks. When I met Molly, she was as warm and funny as you’d hope she’d be (“Black coffee, honey? You’re a girl after my own heart!”).

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Aug 25
Comment deleted
Julia Fogg's avatar

Let me give you my number….

Nancy's avatar

You're not in America? Ooh, long distance! :D That's generosity there. :)

Julie Lewis's avatar

Donald is dying? From your lips to G…oh wait.

Camilla B. (GA)'s avatar

That’s one of my standards, particularly for a consummation devoutly to be wished. So good to find the ones who think like you do. 😉

Constance Story's avatar

As a nurse practioner I can say with a certain degree of confidence that he is showing symptoms of congestive heart failure, a fairly miserable death. Good riddance and God Speed, God!

Mary Hall's avatar

Nurses are God’s angels on Earth.

Constance Story's avatar

thank you, Mary Hall. I always tried to be. The greatest comfort of my life was always trying to comfort a patient and their frightened family members in their worst hours.

Karen Hall's avatar

Blessings to you, Constance! Angels, indeed.

Jody Kaplan's avatar

An angel, indeed. I'm a retired nurse with cardiomyopathy and heart failure, and I thank you for predicting the "miserable" death that awaits me. You keep on comforting those patients and frightened family members, Constance.

geraldine Schiavone's avatar

Yes my Mom was a nurse and ❤️ her profession of taking care of the sick and guiding the families thru the good and bad news ,she had such empathy for people 😇

KHKate's avatar

Can heart faillure manifest in the heartless?

Nancy's avatar

Hmm...well, something's pumping around whatever fluid is keeping him mobile, for now, so it's gotta be something that can get clogged?

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

Surprised that he even still has a heart at all. We've certainly never seen any sign of it. At the autopsy one expects a shrivelled lump of rotting meat, with stinking gall-and-kidney stones inside.

I’m already a subscriber's avatar

If we start seeing his neck veins throbbing, we know the end is near!

DebSpoonhour's avatar

Every TV camera should be focused in on his jugular veins whenever he's on lying about something. That's several times a day. We can monitor his progress ;).

LCD's avatar

Yes… I was thinking that too.

Sandy's avatar

That’s what I thought. Perhaps blood thinners are causing bruising also. Yes?

EddieW's avatar

Hey, Reaper, sir! We think 6 to 8 months is too long sir. Everybody sing with me:

(Warning: earworm approaching)

All our times have come

Here but now they're gone

Donold don't fear The Reaper

Come on baby

You'll be able to fly

...

Mary Hall's avatar

Needs more cowbell.

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

Cowbell? Death knell…

Karyn Milos's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Camilla B. (GA)'s avatar

Yesss!!! 😂😂😂

Denise K's avatar

“Many people are saying he only has 6-8 months left to live.” we can only hope.

Bryan J's avatar

As long as it is nice and slow….. and he is cognizant it is happening. He can actually see it and feel it, and realize he is close to going to Hell. That is the ultimate karma.

Rebecca Walker's avatar

I love it! I’m thinking about JD assuming the position…to have his ass kicked, kicked I mean.

Nancy's avatar

And think on this: JD doesn't have one-tenth the charisma of his current boss; there's no way he'll be able to motivate the masses the same way. ;)

Karen campbell's avatar

I just became a paid subscriber. You are most worthy. I don’t mean to put pressure on you but if you could take him ASAP it wouldn’t just be for me but for us all. It very well may save our nation and let us start again. T’anks. 🙏

God's avatar

Thanks for joining! I will personally try to manifest.

JP Connolly's avatar

I guess it's jumping ahead, and I don't mean to rain on this cheery parade, but what about Vance. At this point he's as unavoidable as er death and . . . But I'm sure God has a Plan. I am praying on that one.

Nancy's avatar

Meh, Vance couldn't pleasure a loveseat, let alone The Base. I'm not too worried. ;)

William Gaboda's avatar

Right on, God: no heaven for the likes of him. Well, You can always set the Spanish Inquisition on him. He won’t expect it (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition), and he might confess and beg forgiveness. Nah, we won’t. It’s Hell for him, right God?

Rebecca Walker's avatar

Thanks for the Monty Python ref! 🤣 Yep—get your tickets early for the good ‘ole Auto-Da-Fey! (Concessions will be available)

Rhoda Ozen's avatar

His hand looks like an IV was in and they used Contrast to spot a particular problem. But the IV wasn’t in properly so the contrast was released under the skin. It happened to me twice. It burns like hell and puffs up for a day or so. Mine is still marked from that happening about 3 weeks ago.

I do so wish his demise would be coming sooner rather than later. But what to do about JD?

Jocelyn B's avatar

Right: what to do about Juvenile Delinquent?

Karyn Milos's avatar

🎵🎶 What then to do about

JD the Couch Fucker?

Eyeliner wonderman,

He's such a tool... 🎶🎵

Nancy's avatar

JD isn't Teflon-coated. ;)

Mary Hall's avatar

When “it” happens, I hope everyone puts up Christmas lights, opens a bottle of something bubbly, and dances in the street!

geraldine Schiavone's avatar

The 🌎 will have a massive parades & parties 🎊 because the POS is gone

Nancy's avatar

Always loved this bit, even if it was a bit harsh on poor Scrooge, who was almost there with the whole "turning over a new leaf largely through being scared shitless" stage...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkq7WZTzkLQ&list=RDDkq7WZTzkLQ&start_radio=1

John S. Way's avatar

If he does expire in the next 6-8 months it will be utter CHAOS within the GOP. Vance would take forever to rally MAGA, if he ever did. Also, every single one of the executive orders Foolius Caesar has signed, which have been treated by MAGA and the GOP as far more powerful than they really are, will immediately cease to have any effect. That is, unless Vance demands they be reupped, which would still take quite a while. Meanwhile, the GOP would be in absolute disarray for the midterms, which are already predicted to go quite terribly for them.

Sandy's avatar

“Foolius Caesar”. 😂

John S. Way's avatar

I've seen some great ones, probably my favorite of which is The Count of Mostly Crisco.

snoopynut 🐾's avatar

I'm here for all the smiting. 😁

Rebecca Walker's avatar

His right hand is rotting because, well, we know where it’s been. His ankles are a mess from a lifetime of kicking people when they’re down.

SLMontgo's avatar

He is doomed and we all know it. He won't make 80, which is still far too much time topside. I have held all along that he won't be around for 2026.

Wasroger's avatar

Keep on doing it, God❣️

Bren M's avatar

Satan surely must have his preparations for this one finished by now. Can’t You have a word with him? Tell him he can have his new toy for Christmas early?

DebSpoonhour's avatar

No tariffs either! Satan can have him for free!

Bren M's avatar

I’d actually be willing to pay a tariff if that’s what it takes.