186 Comments
User's avatar
M-Pathy77's avatar

Thank the Lord we've had the likes of Biden and Obama (with their incredible, non-store-bought wives!) represent us in the past - so the world knows SOME of us are DECENT!🙄🙏

HI2thDoc's avatar

Wives with educations. Careers. Class. Accomplishments. Non-awful personalities! Wives who love them! What a concept. Someone named Molly Ploofkins on Xitter said this was the first time Felon 47 has slept next to his wife in years.

Mimi Bartley's avatar

Truth. And that is so perfect. LOL I bet the late night comedians use that one!!

Shirley Peck's avatar

“First time 47 has slept next to his wife in years”. 🤣😂🥲. Oh my gosh HI2thDoc, that is hilarious 😂! Thank you for that jewel of humor this morning.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Jeff Tiedrich had it in his column. Screengrab from Xitter

Dot Chick's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🥱😴🤢🤡

America Carter's avatar

I adore "store-bought wife" for Mel. Must remember that one! That's great!

Gary Owen Faas's avatar

A honey pot, as Putin calls her.

Nancy's avatar

Five will get you 10 that she's one of his "handlers" since the 1980s.

"Please, Vladimir, how much longer must I pander to this thing? I bore him a child -- at least, what he thinks is /his/ child..." --translated from the Russian

Gary Owen Faas's avatar

I remember reading Ian Flemings's James Bond novels, that completely explained how the Soviets trained some Women Agents to be "honey pots". They were able fool the idiots they targeted, since the idiots were ignorant, too. Russia sized up which of those idiots were easiest to CON, sounds like someone you may have heard about maybe, and made him their lap dog. Yapping constantly in obedience. Melanoma was in 'heat' due to this dude's screwing around on his other wives, and had her Anchor baby..

Sue From 28803's avatar

She didn’t look so good at the funeral though. She’s beginning to look her age, I’m afraid.

HI2thDoc's avatar

More surgery is in the offing. Watch

skangirl's avatar

Remember the song, Turning Japanese? Mrs. trump and "girlfriend" ivanka's eyes are gradually disappearing because of all the gunk being pumped into their faces where their cheekbones used to be.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Gunk and also the stretching from facelifts gives the eyes a feline, or in Melanie's case, a wolfish appearance

Carol Tidwell's avatar

Reminds me of Cher’s line in Moonstruck: Someday you’ll drop dead and I’ll come to your funeral in a red dress.

tecolote42's avatar

Yep. Red to the funeral and dancing on his grave

Amy Mosley's avatar

I know someone who went to a wake in a red dress!

Mary Busch's avatar

Are you referring to Scarlett of Gone with the Wind? I watched this movie a few nights ago for the umpteenth time. She does not wear a red dress to a wake. She wears a red dress to Ashley's surprise birthday party. And she didn't choose the red dress. Rhett made her wear it as a scandalous symbol of her non-Victorian behavior after she was caught in a seductive embrace with Ashley.

Shirley Peck's avatar

Mary Busch, you know your GWTW! Our family does too. Knowing all the little quotes.

Amy Mosley's avatar

I really was at a wake and a woman came in wearing a red dress! I thought maybe she always said she would wear red when he died! I would not have been at a wake in GWTW….that was a movie not real life!

Amy Mosley's avatar

No, I actually was at a wake for a friend and someone came in wearing a red dress! I realized maybe she always said she would wear red when he died!

Nancy's avatar

Adulteress Red? :-/

Michelle's avatar

I thought the same thing yesterday!! Best movie ever!

Christie sebo's avatar

I tell you what I dream of the day when somebody puts their hand out to shake his and does one of those nope, not today and pulls their hand up and away.

lmbober's avatar

Macron just did that in Rome yesterday

Carla Jo's avatar

I knew I liked Macron!

Christie sebo's avatar

I saw that. I just think he could have done it with more effect.

lmbober's avatar

It would have been nice but Macron is a frenchman with a lot of clsss and intelligence. Americans have become much more crude and cruel and stupid. and violent since trump.

Nancy's avatar

Too much of a crowd around them? ;)

Christie sebo's avatar

I suppose you are right. We saw the snub that's all we need to know. But how fantastic to play a joke on someone with no sense of humor. Pulling your hand away from the handshake generally all in good fun.

Patty Smith's avatar

I loved it - very smooth on Macron's part.

Shirley Peck's avatar

Yes, wasn’t that Shadenfraued or whatever it’s called just delightful?!

lmbober's avatar

The Contrarian - " be a Francis, not a trump "

Nancy's avatar

Schadenfreude (spellcheck liked that one better), I think; the "e" is pronounced (like "eh," I think, not "ay"?), since English is like the only language on the planet that has silent 'e's. It's not a heavy-duty pronunciation, but it's there. :)

Shirley Peck's avatar

Thanks Nancy. Im glad that you figured out what i was trying to say! 😉

Nancy's avatar

Oh, believe me; it's one of my favorite words. X-D

I also like the German phrase/word that basically translates as "born with a face made to be punched" or some such... :D

Gretchen's avatar

Though I will not be in attendance whenever and wherever the Orange Menace is eventually laid to rest, on that day I will rejoice in a red dress.

Nancy's avatar

I think I will, just to make sure the prick STAYS THERE. X-P

I do like this, though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDpI2Sz4Ynw

Nice parody, well sung. :)

Gretchen's avatar

Oh, mercy! I truly L’d OL!

C K Smith's avatar

Thank you, Nancy! That video has made my day!!!! Although the video shows all men lining up, I (a female) intend to be there to squat on him when we get our turn. I will be laughing all day today and counting the days until I get my turn. I will see you there!

Nancy's avatar

The dude has a lovely singing voice, too; given the name, probably very authentic Irish. :)

And there are ways for us ladies to go standing up (li'l rubber funnels, etc.), but yeah, there's just something about the chance to hunker down over him that appeals...and there was a female in that line. One wonders if she'd brought any devices with her. ;)

Sadly, my guess is that either a) the place will be guarded by his diehards, and/or b) in a secret location so no one can vandalize -- oh, who am I kidding? If he still has any estate left, he'll want something like what Genghis Khan got in Mongolia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equestrian_statue_of_Genghis_Khan

No horse, though; I think he's afraid of animals in general and wouldn't want anyone or anything sharing his pedestal with him. ;)

C K Smith's avatar

You’re right on all counts, Nancy! I missed the woman in line at first. The singer’s voice is beautiful, and I bet he does a heart-rendering version of “Danny Boy.” Lastly, Orange Dick-Tater will want a giant statue of himself, and I am glad he doesn’t like animals. No horse on earth deserves to have his fat ass on its back.

Nancy's avatar

I doubt even a Shire horse could carry him for long enough for an artist to get a sketch for the statue... ;-)

It'd have to be "artistic license." Either that, or put him on an allosaurus or something on the statue; he'd like that. :D

C K Smith's avatar

Right again, Nancy! How horrible to think of a poor Shire horse slumping in the middle because of his fat-ass on its back. I am going back to the video you posted to cleanse my mind for the day. :-) BTW, I always love your comments, and I actively look for them when I have time to read the comments. Please be safe and keep up your great work!

Pauline Geer's avatar

Dear God,

Please pass on to Pope Francis that we already miss him. Tell him that we are so sorry that many people are forgetting what his funeral was about. Lord, I implore you, I beseech you. An amazing man died and instead of his message of love and peace for ALL HUMANS, the news is all about that supercilious buffoon.

From the blue suit to falling asleep; he succeeded in making this final send off all about him.

Dear God bless us all and keep us posted on this earthly situation. But also keep us focused on what is really important.

Also, tell Francis that Pauline says Hi!

Yours,

Pauline

Tracy's avatar

I've never been so embarrassed & angry at the same time.

Betty Campbell's avatar

What a jerk and 100% asshole. Yea, who wears a bright blue suit to a funeral? Only jerks!! I think, when this jerk dies, they should wear bright pink. May he burn in hell for all eternity. Betty C

Punkette's avatar

Yes, Betty! Bright pink, and pussy hats! Hehe 😉

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

Yes! And everyone in REAL, full-on glad drag makeup! Party on… Blat blat with those lashes, purse purse with those lips!

Nancy's avatar

High stiletto heels for the cemetery, so there's a chance /something/ might grow in the area ("Aerate the soil, ladies! Ru, do your part! Lift those heels! :D")... ;)

Bronwyn Halls's avatar

Bright pink is what you get when you hot wash your MAGA hat with your KKK robes. Apparently.

Nancy's avatar

I think he knew damn well what funeral protocols are (he buried a wife on one of his golf courses; how sentimental...what happens if someone else buys up that land due to yet another bankruptcy? ["They moved her tombstone...BUT THEY LEFT HER BODY THERE!! =8-0"]); I think he did it deliberately, so he would be the center of attention.

"There is NO bad publicity." --some pompous narcissistic ass

Joni Bosch's avatar

We should thank him for showing his true colors. The more people who understand what he really is, the less power he will have.

Sally Burton's avatar

I'm looking forward to seeing God and Jesus hammered, hopefully Jesus in a rainbow 🌈 tee shirt, I will bring a bottle or several

Auntie Jelli's avatar

Ow! Hot coffee snorted hurts! Lol but the laugh was worth it! 🤣🤣🤣

HI2thDoc's avatar

Gotta hand it to ya, God. When You created him, You put self-humiliation on autopilot. He is the most embarrassing human ever. America thanks You for making us look exceedingly stupid for choosing this idiot. I guess we really did incur Your wrath somehow. I'm betting it was slavery.

Nancy's avatar

Hey, now; it could've been The Other Guy who made him...or at least, tweaked a human, since I'm not sure Satan can create, just warp. ;)

Might I recommend "Revenge of the Nestene [aka "Rose: the Sequel"]" in the Doctor Who story collection /Adventures in Lockdown/ (during 2020, natch, with proceeds going to the Children in Need U.K. charity :D). If you're on Instagram, this should be easy, but even I can read it there without having to log in:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Nfoa5Ha_T/?img_index=1

For those not in the timey-wimey loop: the Nestene invasion referred to took place in 2005... ;)

HI2thDoc's avatar

I deleted Instagram out of a personal antipathy toward avaricious oligarch Suckerberg. The wife still gets a lot of recipe ideas from it, tho'.

Nancy's avatar

Yeah, I never got into it at all; I'm just glad some of the folks there are willing and able to open up their posts for the rest of us. He Who Zucks isn't that generous with Facebook... X-P

DR Darke's avatar

::Because who wears blue to a funeral?

::No one, that’s who.

::Unless it’s Trump’s funeral.

::God will be there in an all-white tux, hammered drunk, ready to sing karaoke.

::The Lord hath spoken.::

Oh, I had a paisley dinner jacket I went to the prom in! (It was the Seventies.)

I wish I still had it (and could fit into it), because that would be the perfect outfit to wear for Trump's funeral. No tie, just a paisley dinner jacket, Qiana shirt with roses on it, listening to the Bee Gees as I disco dance (badly) on Trump's grave....

Carla Jo's avatar

What an inspiring picture in my head. So well-drawn. Thank you.

Pamela S.'s avatar

Ah, Qiana. Like wearing silky Saran Wrap.

DR Darke's avatar

You remembered! I owned two or three Qiana shirts in the Seventies and brought them with me to NYC when I moved there, along with five pairs of polyester double-knit pants and my (no kidding!) shrimp-colored leisure suit.

When I got involved with the woman I eventually married, she...did something with my clothes while helping me buy pants and shirts with (mostly) natural fibers which actually allowed my skin to breathe.

Pamela S.'s avatar

Haha! Yes, those were the days of flash and dazzle. My bridesmaids in 1975 wore cranberry Qiana gowns with black marabou feather necklines. Looking at those photos now, I cringe. 😖

DR Darke's avatar

I can top that! In those days I had a Jafro and what, if you squinted really hard, could pass for a mustache.

And let's not forget the music...!

https://youtu.be/5WXVaChA3Q0?si=0jGR6vzmZQ59j-U6

Pamela S.'s avatar

Oh yeah! We may have looked and danced kinda crazy, but we sure had fun! 💃🏻 🕺🏼

Nancy's avatar

And all that dancing was good exercise! :D

Dale Zalewski's avatar

Louder, plaid sport coats and pants should be the attire at President von Shitzenpants' funeral.

Pamela S.'s avatar

Or shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops. The “Who cares, life is great!” look.

Nancy's avatar

Singing "It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere!" and other Jimmy Buffet party songs. :D

Punkette's avatar

The media mostly ignored the Bidens at Pope Francis’ funeral (despite Joe’s closeness to His Holiness), but I did find a respectful article in Town and Country Magazine:

Former President Joe Biden Attends Pope Francis’s Funeral in First Major Post-Presidency Appearance. Biden was the second Catholic to serve as U.S. president.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/politics/a64564781/joe-biden-pope-francis-funeral-photos/

Nancy's avatar

Thanks for that link! :) Yeah, doesn't seem like the MSM outlets bothered with anyone else (undoubtedly the Tangerine Palpatine's idea); maybe Zelenskyy a tiny bit, who, at least, was wearing black... X-P

Michelle's avatar

Saw the best meme today: "The best comment from the Pope's funeral: "Trump was mad because the funeral wasn't about him. We are mad it wasn't about him too!"

Nancy's avatar

Oh, A+! X-D

And amen! Awomen! Ramen! :D

Sarah3000's avatar

The loud blue suit is a direct reflection of his personality. Garish, out of place, attention-seeking with no class.

Jan Frederick's avatar

Yes, the "no class" thing, especially. He looks, dresses and talks worse than a used car salesman. (Apologies to used car salesmen) It really makes one very embarrassed to see him around literally almost any foreign dignitary.

HI2thDoc's avatar

It's almost like he wore that shitty blue suit to make himself even more conspicuous as he snoozed. Did You do that, or is he just that accomplished at self-humiliation?

Michelle's avatar

I think Malaria dressed him like that. On purpose!

Nancy's avatar

Could be! :D

"Vladimir, PLEASE, get me off of this 'handler' duty you have me on! I cannot stand this buffoon any longer!" --translated from the Russian