Bless Zohran Mamdani For Making Every Racist's Head Explode At Once

Dear Humans,

Last night, Democrats won everywhere. But nothing bothered the fascists more than seeing an unapologetically Muslim Democratic Socialist become mayor of New York City.

He lives rent-free in their heads…because he wants to freeze the rent.

Congrats to the winners! And bless Zohran Mamdani for making every racist’s head explode at once! 🤯

1. Today Was A Good Day

Zohran Mamdani didn’t just win. He changed American politics.

A son of immigrants now runs the most powerful city in the country, and if you listen closely you can still hear the billionaire perverts screaming from their yachts.

Democrats also won both governor’s races in Virginia and New Jersey. Congratulations!

And of course, Prop 50 passed in California, ensuring that Democrats can thwart President Epstein’s attempts to rig the House of Representatives for 2026.

2. Every Racist’s Head Explodes At Once

But again, and God can’t stress this enough, nothing bothers these racist bastards more than Zohran Mamdani.

From Laura Loomer to Matt Walsh’, the Twitter cesspool is filled with naught but Nazi tears and regret.

Low-energy Donald could only muster “AND SO IT BEGINS.” No shit, Sherlock.

Sad! 😂

Tangerine Palpatine was clearly flinging his feces at the TV all night.

Thanks for letting everyone know what you don’t want to happen, Donold.

We will get right to work on keeping the filibuster, increasing the availability of mail-in ballots, packing the Supreme Court like a clown car, and making Puerto Rico and Washington D.C. into states, thus increasing Democratic Senators by 4.

3. God’s Final Word

Thanks to the 2,300 saints who joined me last night for my live-stream election coverage. It was hilarious, it was glorious, it was hilar-glorious!

From Zohran’s victory speech:

“In these dark times, I know it is harder than ever to keep faith in our democracy.

It has been attacked by billionaires and their big spending.
By elected officials who care more about self-enrichment than the public trust.
By authoritarian leaders who rule through fear.

And when we no longer believe in our democracy, it becomes easier for men like Donald Trump to convince us of his worth.
Easier for billionaires to convince us that they must always lead.

But I have seen the power of the people.
And I say to you, President Trump—since I know you’re watching—if you want to get to any of us, you will have to go through all of us.

GLORY HALLELUJAH!

CAN GOD GET AN AMEN?!?

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• “Dear God, I just subscribed after lurking for free for a while. So in return, please answer my modest prayer, which is this: I have a word. It is ICEHOLES. I’m sure in your omniscience you know exactly who I am talking about. The Word needs to be used far and wide, who better to help with that than the Almighty? Get Jesus to help too. Full disclosure, I’m a casual Buddhist. Hope that’s OK.” - Carl

• “I’ve always enjoyed your FB posts. I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!” — Nancy

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 18 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 25% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Now go forth, smite the wicked, and remember: making billionaires cry is a holy act.

Love,

God