Dear Humans,
Happy Friday! Well done, My good and faithful people. Thou hast made it through another week of fighting fascism. Buckle up, for I’ve got some prime schadenfreude for you today.
Free readers, I love you.
Paid readers, I love you and you make it possible for God to keep smiting President Pedo day after day.
1. Bless Everyone Who Ripped RFK Jr. A New Ahole
Blessed be the senators who ripped Robert F. Kennedy Jr. a brand new asshole in his hearing yesterday. They showed no mercy. They swept the leg.
SMITE!
If he’s not stopped this damn fool RFK Jr. will get millions of people killed. The Senators were furious!
Lo, it was not a hearing, it was a public exorcism.
Warner: "Secretary of Health and Human Service -- he doesn't know how many people died from covid, doesn't know if the vaccine saved lives, doesn't understand the issue that OBGYN doctors are fleeing rural America ... "
Ron Wyden: “I hope that you will tell the American people how many preventable child deaths are an acceptable sacrifice for enacting an agenda that I think is fundamentally cruel and defies common sense.”
Elizabeth Warren: Did you tell the head of the CDC that if she refused to sign off on your changes to the childhood vaccine schedule, that she had to resign?
RFK Jr.: “I told her she had to resign because I asked her ‘are you a trustworthy person?’ and she said no.”
Warren: “This is not what she has said.”
Bernie Sanders: “You’re cutting $150 billion for rural hospitals, you’re putting $50 billion back. That’s not an infusion. That’s a loss of $100 billion.”
Mark Warner: “You’re the secretary of health and human services. You don’t have any idea how many Americans died from COVID? How can you be that ignorant?”
Maria Cantwell: "You're a charlatan. That's what you are."
Raphael Warnock: "For the first time, we are seeing deaths of children from measles. We haven't seen that in two decades. We're seeing that under your watch. You are a hazard to the health of the American people."
2. Holy Schnitt, Trump’s DOJ Got Catfished
But that’s not all! As if the Righteous Angels of Schadenfreude had not supped enough, Trump’s own Department of Justice managed to humiliate itself on the very same day.
A Trump DOJ Deputy, Joseph Schnitt, went on a Hinge date and spilled all the fascist secrets to an undercover reporter from the far-right MAGA O’Keefe Media Group.
Schnitt: “They’ll redact every Republican or conservative person in those files, leave all the liberal, Democratic people.”
Schnitt: “Pam Bondi is a yes person. She wants whatever Trump wants.”
Schnitt: “The DOJ’s offering Ghislaine Maxwell something to keep her mouth shut.”
When caught, he pleaded in a letter that he had no idea he was being recorded, and that had he known, “the first date would have ended immediately and there never would have been a second one.” Oh ok, thanks MAGA moron .
And then the DOJ released its own statement: “The comments in this video have absolutely zero bearing with reality and reflect a total lack of knowledge of the DOJ’s review process.”
Trump’s own base is now using MAGA’s favorite sting artist to accuse Trump’s DOJ of hiding the truth. The far right has turned its knives inward, and the spectacle is glorious.
3. Join The Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Corporate media and billionaires have already bent the knee, but we refuse. We are risking everything to bring truth and laughter to the fight, and your support is a stand for survival and the freedom to speak out.
But here’s the thing… only a very small percentage of readers actually chip in. If even a few more stepped up, we could push back harder, expand our team, and widen the blast radius.
Today’s Testimonial:
"I subscribed because, well, you're God! Thou shalt listen to God, dammit! Thank you for keeping us sane in this insanity! You are the bright spot in my day! Let the smiting continue!😆 — Paula
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Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Bless you, humans.
Love,
God
As Stephen Colbert pointed out, vaccine mandates have existed in America since the 1850s. To drag us back 175 years us quite a feat. Republicans are hazardous to America's health.
The antivax movement is also embedded in the evangelical movement, which is highly correlated with the crooked multilevel marketing industry, so there are many facets to this dumbassery.
Slight correction, RFK Jr IS the Asshole