Trump Voters Crash Out Over Gas Prices

Leopard, meet face.

Dear Humans,

Lo, gas prices are through the roof because President Epstein Files attacked Iran, and suddenly the “fuck your feelings” crowd wants us to care about their feelings. Let’s break it down.

1. Gas Pump Confessional

One woman stood next to a gas pump and was asked what she’d say to the President right now.

She didn’t hesitate.

“You’re a worthless pile of shit.”

Then came the follow-up question.

How many times did you vote for him?

“THREE TIMES! That was my bad. Apparently I’m an idiot.”

Yes. you’re an idiot, Amanda Robbins, Pennsylvania resident. At least we can all agree on that.

Turns out the convicted felon conman didn’t care about you or your problems. If only someone had done absolutely everything they could to warn you ahead of time.

2. The Screenshots Don’t Lie

“Diesel is now $5.20 a gallon… I voted for you… have you lost your effing mind?”

This Trump voter is now paying $125 A DAY on gas because of Trump.

“I can’t believe I voted for Trump.”

We can’t believe it either.

“Fuel prices are so high that I’m forced to go bankrupt… I will never vote again in this stupid worthless country.”

Or maybe instead of never voting again, how about voting to hurt the people that did this to you? Namely, the GODDAMN REPUBLICANS?!?!

3. God’s Final Word

Dear MAGA, you’re getting exactly what you voted for. You cheered when the pain of Trump’s patented brand of American fascism was aimed at someone else. You laughed when it hit immigrants, cities, and anyone you were told to hate. And now?

And yet…the moment you stop defending this pedophile president is the moment this nightmare starts to end.

But if you truly want to be forgiven, making a social media post expressing your regret is not enough. This man is building concentration camps while trying to conquer the planet. Your stupidity and hatred summoned American Hitler.

Therefore, you must work to impeach him, remove him from office, to arrest, prosecute and convict him and his entire criminal syndicate — including his friends and family. Especially Jared Kushner.

You’re going to need to fight against white supremacy in the USA. You’re going to have to understand that billionaires use racism, sexism and bigotry to divide you. They keep you hating each other so you never focus on the fascist billionaire pedophiles that run everything.

You’re going to have to resolve to stop being such an idiot from now on. Whenever you’re about to do something just ask yourself, “Would an idiot do this thing?” And if the answer is yes, then do not do that thing.

You’re going to have to spend the rest of your life working to redeem yourselves. By all means, keep reporting in on your progress.

Until then, the rest of us will keep fighting. Because fascism doesn’t stop itself. Because the stakes are too high.

Because I refuse to let these clowns win.

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• ""You're always on the side of sanity, justice, and morality. You come up with interesting tidbits no one else does. You keep plugging away in spite of how awful things get. You encourage everyone to laugh through the madness. You are much appreciated. Bless you!" — Val

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate the 7 year anniversary of God and Jesus smiting ignorance together, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.

Love,

God