Trump Surrenders To Iran

Republicans are freaking out.

Dear Humans,

Good morning.

President Bone Spurs has completely capitulated to Iran on Memorial Day weekend.

Don’t forget to bless the little heart on this post to fight their censorship and spread the joyous news of Donald’s defeat.

1. Republicans Are Freaking Out Because Trump Folded

We were repeatedly told that Donald’s war was about stopping Iran from getting a nuclear weapon.

We were berated for not being concerned enough about this.

They told us that high gas prices were worth it. Remember? God remembers.

Now President Moron is bragging about a “deal” that gives Iran a $25 billion gift, oil sales, port access, sanctions relief, and the fucking ability to keep enriching uranium so they can keep making fucking nuclear weapons!

Iran is already mocking his defeat.

But if you want to know how bad this deal is, you don’t have to take God’s word for it.

Just ask Republicans. These people spent years attacking Obama’s Iran deal.

Look at them now.

MAGA attacking Ted Cruz.

Steven Cheung attacking Mike Pompeo.

Suffer, you fools!

Meanwhile, Tangerine Palpatine said he’s too busy with “Iran and government” to attend Don Jr.’s wedding weekend.

And what is this sacred government work?

Posting insane memes about conquering Greenland while he surrenders to Iran.

Don’t be worried, Greenland. Just wait.

Donald will surrender to you soon enough and give you $25 billion and nukes.

Oh by the way, the father of Don Jr.’s new wife is the banker who originally helped Epstein get his island.

Gee. What a coincidence.

2. A Message From God

Lo. everything Donald does is to distract us from his countless ties to Epstein.

That’s what Operation Epstein Distraction was all about in the first place.

And lo, as I said from the start, Hormuz would be his Waterloo.

And sure enough, it all blew up in his face, exactly as I always said it would.

This is Memorial Day weekend.

America is supposed to be honoring the people who died serving this country.

Instead, the president skipped his son’s wedding so he could surrender to Iran and post disturbing memes.

Corporate media will spend the next week asking whether Trump “found an off-ramp.”

Oh hell no.

We are not fucking doing that here.

This is why independent media matters.

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And we’re just getting started.

Bless you, humans.

Love,

God