Dear Humans,
God here. Now that President Biden has heroically passed the torch to Kamala Harris, can we talk about the orange elephant in the room?
TRUMP MUST DROP OUT BECAUSE HE’S OLD AS FUCK.
Yeah, I said it. At 78-years-old, Donald is practically fossilized. You wouldn't trust your grandpa to fix your Wi-Fi, so why let him run the country? He's older than dirt and twice as clueless.
Like holy shit, did you see his speech at the RNC last week? The giant creep rambled on for 2 hours like he was Grandpa Simpson.
Look, the presidency is a tough gig. It needs someone with energy, someone who can stay awake past 7 PM without nodding off. Trump?
HE FALLS ASLEEP IN COURT.
He fell asleep during his own convention. He's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. The only marathon he’s running is a nap marathon.
And let's talk about the gaffes—Donald says some stupid insane shit that doesn’t make sense every single time he speaks. The only people it makes sense to are also totally delusional Christian Nationalist freaks like Marjorie Taylore Greene.
And don't get me started on the health issues. Remember that mysterious trip to Walter Reed? Make America great again? This man can’t handle a ramp. The only thing he can make great again is the act of faceplanting into the ground.
So, here’s the divine decree: Trump, pack it up. Go home, put on your slippers, and watch Matlock reruns. Leave running the country to someone who can remember what day it is without checking Fox News. It’s time for you to drop out, you crusty old bag of assholes.
Now that I, the LORD THY GOD, have brought attention to this issue, I am sure the media will be obsessing about it every day from here on out.
THE LORD HAS SPOKEN.
PS - Thoughts? Do you agree? Can I get an amen?
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Good luck with this one, God. He hasn't listened to you in 78 years, why should he start now. He says you intervened (OH FUCK!!!!! PLEASE!!!) when he turned his head to the side causing a marksman to miss a 142-yard shot by a fraction of an inch, and now he is a changed man. He's already gone back to being Trump. Just smite the asshole already. I've never asked you to do stupid shit like help my kid win a little league game or make my Superbowl bet come true, but I'm praying to you to help the Democrats turn this "too old to run" bullshit back in the MAGAturds.
Didn't he fall asleep at the RNC when his son was speaking on the stage?
Nap time for grandpa! Either way he still seems competent enough to stand trial and go to prison.