Dear Humans,
Good morning and thank you to the angels keeping this newsletter running. Free readers, I love you. Paid readers, I love you and you make it possible for me to keep smiting everyday without collapsing.
’Twas the night before martial law, and all through the White House, Not a creature was stirring, except the big louse.
On his gold toilet throne, typing with fright, the great big pedo rage-posted through the night.
Seth Meyers not fired left him bitter and rankled!! There would be no joy for the man with two Achilles cankles.
LOL. 😂 Ahem.
Here is what the President posted at 2AM:
“There is a sick rumor going around that Fake News NBC extended the contract of one of the least talented Late Night television hosts out there, Seth Meyers. He has no Ratings, Talent, or Intelligence, and the Personality of an insecure child. So, why would Fake News NBC extend this dope’s contract. I don’t know, but I’ll definitely be finding out!!!”
Behold the exquisite insecurity. He says Seth has no ratings, no talent, no intelligence, and yet he was up late watching his show.
He doomscrolls his own humiliation like a moth buzzing a bug zapper, closer, closer, ZAP. The man simply cannot stop watching the people who make fun of him, and every time he rants, he proves again how much he can’t stand being mocked.
“I’ll definitely be finding out!” he says. About what, exactly?! A private business renewing a comic because he’s good at his job?! Imagine being so insecure that you threaten to “investigate” a whole network because they won’t fire the guy with the show that comes on at 12:30am.
Seth clearly drives Donald insane because his mockery works!
So bless the renewal. Bless every writer in that room. It matters that this work continues. It matters that we keep laughing while we tell the truth, because that is how people remember the truth in the first place.
Bless you, Seth! Keep making that monster scream at his phone. Comedy doesn’t save the world alone, but it does give us hope when everything is dark. Sometimes it even tips the scales, because nothing deflates a tyrant faster than the sound of people laughing at him!
Thou shalt keep mocking these fascists!
Love,
God
P.S. If you want this divine newsletter to keep mocking the lies and telling the truth, subscribe or upgrade today.
Lol, I just read that Seth’s contract isn’t even up until 2028. The loon in the WH is just pissed that Seth calls him on his bullshit.
I agree with you 100%! Btw, the 🍊clown is a broken inside toddler in a 79 year old body.