Dear Humans,
Lo, the President of the United States leaped into action this weekend to defend the honor of his friend’s micro-penis.
MAGA has been in a civil war ever since the launch of Operation Epstein Fury.
One side opposes forever wars. The other side has bottomless sycophants like Mark Levin, who thinks bombing Iran was a super smart thing to do.
This led to a public feud between Levin and Megyn Kelly, who responded to one of his latest meltdowns by repeatedly calling him “Micropenis Mark.”
Excuse God for a second.
And that is when Donald positively LEPT into action.
While he should have been busy managing the global war he started, the President of the United States saw a tiny penis insult on X and instantly knew he just had to get involved.
Donald is like Batman, if there were a version of Batman that only cared about justice for men with tiny penises. Let’s call him MAGA Batman.
And so Donald posted a glowing tribute to Levin, and attacked Kelly without directly naming her. Because that would be admitting what the subtext of this post is all about - defending the honor of his friend’s micro-penis.
BLAH BLAH BLAH!
METHINKS THE MAN DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH!
While children are dying from the bombs he’s dropping, he’s busy playing golf and posting.
History is going to look back on this moment and ask a very simple question.
What the HELL was wrong with these people?!
Love,
God
PS - Right wing billionaires now own and control every single major news network. But they don’t own us. You’re the only reason God’s left wing newsletter still exists. If you’re able, please consider joining today as a subscriber.
Dear God!
Perhaps one of his minions should slip out their clown shoes and remind the Orange Palpatine that, "It takes one to know one." But then again, I guess men with micro-penises have to stick together. Shoe size and immorality not withstanding.