Dearest Humans,
BEHOLD! Since the debate on Tuesday night:
Kamala Harris hath raised over $47 million
Donald announced he will not debate her again
Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala
Vote.gov received nearly 1 million visitors to their website
Donald Trump is now openly banging racist conspiracy theorist and 9/11 truther Laura Loomer
That’s right, folks. That’s a very recent picture of Donald, above, with far-right activist Laura Loomer’s teets seductively pressed up against his prodigious belly fat. God is so sorry that, as part of your constitutional duty as an American citizen, you had to see that.
Where is his wife, Melania? IS SHE SEEING THIS??
Laura Loomer traveled with Donald on his big jet to his big debate with Vice President Kamala Harris on Tuesday night. This is a supportive role usually reserved for, I don’t know, a person’s spouse.
Where was Melania? She wasn’t even there!!!
Donald’s new woman then accompanied him to September 11 memorial services at Ground Zero in NYC on Wednesday. She has previously promoted the vile conspiracy that the 9/11 attacks were an “inside job.” Donald has his own history with 9/11. On the actual day of 9/11/2001, Donald bragged that his building was now the tallest in New York. What’s the opposite of cute? They make a horrifying couple.
I mean, I know the corporate media is out to lunch, and Donold is eating their lunch, and Putin is eating his lunch, but COME ON, PEOPLE!!
Even some of Trump’s staunchest allies aren’t happy about this. Lindsey Graham said that cozying up to Loomer “isn’t helpful at all,” and Marjorie Taylor Greene said she doesn’t have the “right mentality to advise a very important presidential election.”
AND THAT’S MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE! When Marjorie Taylor Greene thinks you’re insane? Wow, holy crap!
Meanwhile, Loomer is over on the Elon Musk app spreading wild 9/11 conspiracy theories on the 23rd anniversary of the tragedy, as well as making evil posts about Kamala and immigrants. Loomer is so vile, even Elon is censoring her posts. She’s also banned on all Meta apps.
Donald very obviously cheating on his third wife comes right as many MAGA Republicans spent the week complaining that ABC News’ debate moderators didn’t fact-check Kamala Harris (because she didn’t lie).
THIS IS A HUGE SCANDAL!!! For the love of God, people, DO NOT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS. They are doing this in broad daylight.
This guy is the chosen candidate of the ‘moral majority’ evangelicals and he’s cheating on his wife in broad daylight. Just throw it on the pile of sins, right?
THOU SHALT NOT IGNORE THAT LAURA LOOMER IS SLOBBING DONOLD’S SHROOMER.
THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!
THE RISE OF DEMOCRACY SPECIAL
Because it’s our 4-month anniversary here, and in honor of Kamala opening up a BIG OLE CAN OF WHOOPASS on Donold, I'm offering a special discount! Right now you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your September Rise Of Democracy Special and avoid facing any more paywalls on God. Because this deal hath been SO POPULAR, I’ve extended the sale. Don’t miss out on this divine deal and unlock all our exclusive content! (Valid through September 14th, 2024)
Thank you for being on this journey with me and for your unwavering support. I have faith in you, humans.
Love,
God
PS - If you’re enjoying God’s newsletter, can I get an amen? Don’t forget to drop a like on this post as well!
HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF IRONIC SELF-SMITE:
just saying i’ve experienced the eager chest thrust before and nothing says i want to bang you right this instant more than that
The mental image of the micro schroom with the massively injected lips upon it has me giggling. How would either of them know it was happening??