Thou Shalt Not Commit Mass Deportations!

by Jesus

Dear Humans, 

Jesus here. I’ve been listening to the Republican National Convention, and I have been particularly disgusted by how loudly these alleged ‘Christians’ cheer when they hear the phrase “mass deportations.”

I’ve read Project 2025, which plans the mass deportation of over 30 million people and putting at least 100,000 in 'camps'—just like the Nazis. Check page 133.

Let’s dive into some of the crap these charlatans have been spewing. 

Lindsey Graham: "Mass deportations are the only solution to the immigration crisis. We cannot allow our country to be overrun by illegal aliens."

Oh really, Lindsey? The only solution? That sounds eerily like Hitler’s “final solution.” But hey, your new VP-JD Vance already called Trump “America’s Hitler” before, so I guess that tracks.

Ron DeSantis: "We need to remove every illegal alien immediately to preserve the integrity of our nation."

The integrity of your nation? This nation lacks integrity, and so do you. You endorsed Trump, the anti-me, after swearing you wouldn’t.

Donald Trump Jr.: "Deport them all and build a bigger wall."

What wall? You never built it! Don’t you have a mountain of cocaine to snort somewhere? Rhyming won't earn Daddy’s love, Jr.

Marjorie Taylor Greene: "Mass deportations will restore America to its greatness. We must get rid of the illegals who are taking over."

Taking over? The real takeover is by Christian Nationalist psychopaths ike you, Marjorie. Mass deportations would cripple America, but you don’t care.

Ted Cruz: "We must commit to deporting all undocumented immigrants without exception."

Ted, what scares you? We know you flee south to Cancun at the first sign of trouble.

They’re also prattling on about “migrant invasions.” News flash, you morons: nobody’s invading! People are fleeing from violence, poverty, and corruption—stuff that, let’s be honest, the U.S. has often had a hand in causing. 

Remember that golden rule I shared? "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). It wasn't a suggestion; it was a commandment, you sick fucks. And yes, your neighbor includes that family seeking asylum, the worker looking for a better life, and the child hoping for a future free from violence and poverty. Mass deporting these people isn't just evil; it's un-Christian.

It’s also un-American, for that matter. The United States has always welcomed immigrants and is a nation built entirely by immigrants. What does it say on the Statue Of Liberty again? “Give me all the assholes that no one else wanted, so they can run for government as a Republican.” Something like that.

You’re just a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites using the Bible to back up your bigotry. You have zero faith, zero morals, and must stop calling yourselves ‘Christians’ or followers of Christ’s teachings. You don’t follow any of them!

This is why I, Jesus Christ, am calling for very specific, targeted deportations of Lindsey Graham, Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Donald Trump, Jr., and Ted Cruz. An example must be made of these creeps! If you’re mean to strangers from far off lands? Well then Jesus says fuck you. 

What will Jesus do? I will stand with the migrants. I will advocate for their fair treatment, for their right to seek a better life, and for their dignity to be respected. I will remind everyone that these individuals are not statistics or political pawns but beloved children of God. Remember, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40). On the flip side, I will judge you by how you treat the most vulnerable amongst you.

In conclusion, my beloved children, let us not commit the sin of turning our backs on those in need. Instead, let us open our hearts and our borders, and truly live out the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Love,

Jesus Christ

ENGAGEMENT QUESTION:

Do you think these hypocritical Christians should be deported instead? Where to? I guess now we know how the English felt when they deported the Puritans.

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