Dear Humans,
Good morning. Thank you for being here. Mainstream media is owned by MAGA billionaires. But they don’t own us. You’re the reason this newsletter still exists and reaches over 150,000 people every single day. If you can, please consider joining today as a paid subscriber.
And now it’s time for God’s daily blessings and SMITES!
1. BLESSINGS
Bless the 22-year-old medical student from Northern India, identified as Sam, who hilariously admitted to creating an AI-generated conservative influencer named Emily Hart. Sam said he made thousands of dollars a month by targeting the "MAGA crowd," whom he described as "dumb" and easy to fool. Amen. 🙏
This is Morante de la Puebla - known as the “King of Bullfighters,” very clearly losing a bullfight. Bless this bull for sticking his horn up this asshole’s asshole.
Me bless this little turtle. You’re beautiful, buddy!
2. SMITES
And now it’s time to smite!
SMITE nepo-baby Eric Trump, who bragged on Fox that Daddy got him a new $24 million Pentagon deal.
On the same day as this, Trump’s DOJ arrested a soldier for betting on Maduro’s removal. Meanwhile, Donald continues to make billions by using his war to rig the stock market.
It’s next-level evil and corruption. What else would we expect from the people who robbed a children’s cancer charity?
SMITE every member of the Oversight Committee who wants to pardon Ghislaine Maxwell. God suggests doing some oversight of the Oversight Committee, which is clearly packed with pedophiles.
SMITE Donald for snapping at reporters for asking valid questions, such as:
“What do you say to the American people who question how much longer this will take? Obviously you know they’re having higher gas prices?”
SMITE Sleepy Donald for falling asleep on the job.
SMITE the tech company Palantir! Their leaders are hellbent on world domination. Their CEO is evil, insane, and on bad drugs.
Palantir is so hideously evil, even their own employees are starting to wonder if they’re the baddies. The answer? YES! FUCKING YES!
3. God’s New Commandment
Thou shalt fire Eric Trump into the Sun. It’s the logical next step in NASA’s rejuvenated Space program.
Skip landing on the Moon again. Launch Eric Trump into the Sun.
Make it so!
THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!
Love,
God
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👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💙💙💙💙💙
God- thank you for turtles