Hey Pete Hegseth, Keep Jesus Out Your Damn Mouth

A letter from God to Pete Hegseth.

1. A Letter From God To Pete Hegseth:

Hey Pete, it’s God.

This week you reposted a video of pastors calling for women to lose the right to vote and added:

“All of Christ for All of Life.”

JESUS CHRIST!!!

Hey Pete, why are you so threatened by women voting? Why do you hate women??

Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Repeatedly?

Note: I was there and the answer is yes.

Hey Pete, your own mom publicly called you out for being an abuser of women. Remember that? God remembers.

Your mom said you lie, cheat, and use women for your ego…and then try to paint them as unstable when they call you out on it.

And if your own mom says you’re a disgrace, maybe the problem isn’t feminism.

Maybe the problem is you.

Hey Pete, you can’t say no to booze, but you want the power to tell every woman in America she can’t say no to you?.

Thou shalt not try to take away a woman’s right to VOTE. Thou shalt not even think about it, you fascist bastard.

Hey Pete, thou shalt keep Jesus out your damn mouth. IN FACT, if you ever claim association with Jesus again? You’ll be hearing from God’s lawyer.

Burn in Hell, Pete Kegsbreath. 🔥 🔥 🔥

Worst Regards,

God

2. Join God's Rebellion

Dear Humans,

Donny Cankles is installing a motherfucking dictatorship in front of all of our eyes.

The deranged demon is not planning on ever leaving. President Pedo is coming for every last political satirist who mocks him. Because nothing scares stupid Hitler more than being mocked.

We’re risking everything to call this shit out. And it’s worth it. You are worth fighting for.

• "I need something to keep me off the ledge. And out from under the covers. You're It, Lord." - Kate

• "I support your work because I started following you on Blue sky and need a laugh once in a while" - Sharon

• "I really appreciate the work you’re doing. I subscribed to a year so that other people who can’t afford to, can still read your work. Thank you" — Strega

Help us. The fight isn’t slowing down, and neither are we. Comedy is under attack, but we’re still here roasting these evil bastards and calling out their bullshit.

So as a thanks for reading today, God is giving you 20% off to join our wonderful community of likeminded souls.

🔥 Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

Now go forth and make sure Pete Hegseth sees this.

Love,

God