Panicked Piggy Claims Republicans Have Never Been So United

Then whines about all the ways they are.

Dear Humans,

Lo, only a few days after his own party voted to find out if he’s a pedophile, and on the same day the world realized that almost all MAGA influencer accounts are operated by Russian troll farms. Donald “Piggy” Trump made a panicked post claiming Republicans have never been more unified.

Sure, Jan. 6! This is fine. Everything’s fine. I sincerely hope he keeps telling himself that.

1. Piggy Panics

Behold. Donold dropped this masterpiece of denial and thought no one would think too much about it.

But God sees everything!

EDITOR’S NOTE: He goes on to spout a bunch of bullshit about his alleged accomplishments that I won’t bore you with.

The moment he capitalizes UNITED, you already know he’s freaking out. They did seem pretty united last week when they voted near-unanimously to release the Epstein files against his will.

And then when he said ‘other than’ God started cackling. Seriously, this guy is so forking stupid.

2. Make MAGA Dead Again!

Donold’s not fooling anyone. He’s shouting about unity because he knows he doesn’t control his own party anymore. They’re not holding back in speaking out against him now.

That’s why he’s spiraling.
That’s why he’s posting nonsense.
That’s why he’s trying to convince people the GOP is united when he knows it’s breaking apart over the Epstein files, and a little because this weekend he fell madly in love with a progressive Muslim man from New York.

For years he scared them into obedience. Now they’re ignoring him. That’s the one thing he can’t handle. And deep down he knows exactly what it means when a party stops protecting its criminal leader.

His time is running out.
And he knows it.

3. We Will Be Victorious

God and Jesus are front-line digital warriors in this global information war. We fight back against the lies of Krasnov and his Russian troll farms.

If you want to fight these bastards for real, becoming a paid supporter will truly make a difference in growing God’s media army into an unstoppable force for good. 👇👇👇

We don’t have Russian billionaires backing us. And we don’t have the demons Musk or Trump to protect or pardon us.

All we have is each other. And you. Every subscriber, every friend you tell, every like, every share, every quote post, every comment pushes our lines forward.

I hope you have a good Monday!

Love,

God