My Lightning Sent MAGA To The African American History Museum

I laid it on thick yesterday.

Dear Humans,

HOLY MOLY! Donald Trump tried to hijack America’s birthday for a long, stupid speech about himself on the National Mall.

So naturally, I made it hot. Then I sent lightning and thunder.

Before we begin, bless the little heart on this post so the Epstein class billionaires accidentally show it to many more people.

And if this newsletter makes you laugh, join today as a paid subscriber and help keep the #1 Humor publication on Substack independent, growing, and fighting back hard. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

1. Nazis March On Washington

Yesterday a group of ‘Patriot Front’ Confederate Nazis marched through Washington, D.C. to celebrate their fascist leader.

These racists want to scare us. They want to take over the USA. But we’re not going to let them.

2. Not On My Watch

In response to this racist attack on human decency, God and Mother Nature sprang into action. WE SENT THE LIGHTNING!⚡

NEWSFLASH! The Trump voters in attendance did not stay alert, they did not stay safe, and they did not enjoy July 4 responsibly.

They ran like cowards. 🏃

Ultimately, as many as 5,000 Trump supporters sought shelter inside the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

They say God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes? Sometimes I work in very obvious ways.

SMITE!

Because of my lightning, Trump had to postpone his speech to 11pm ET.

What kind of freak celebrates the 4th of July at 11pm, anyway?

During his speech, Trump claimed that 150,000 people were in the crowd.

Sure, Jan 6.

In fact, there were many empty seats.

The truth could not be hidden even under cover of night.

God also watched the Navy band’s performance / fireworks show so you wouldn’t have to. I’m pretty merciful when it comes to singing but I gotta say, it was EXCRUCIATINGLY BAD. This was the USA’s 250th birthday and the best they could do was a very pedestrian karaoke session. These people were off-key and tone-deaf throughout. It was like they just learned to sing last week.

Amongst the songs they used without permission and ruined, was “Don’t Stop Believing,” which was so God-awful, that I stopped believing. In Myself, the Universe, and Everything. I even stopped believing in life after love.

Trump had them sing YMCA. He had them sing Toby Keith’s 9/11 warmongering song. He had them sing Earth, Wind & Fire. White people singing Black music badly to a crowd of racists. IT WAS THE WORST.

Finally, the fireworks were yet another of Trump’s incompetent disasters. Compare these fireworks to any major city and you can easily spot the difference.

3. An Important Message From God

I want you to know the country does not belong to Donald Trump.

It belongs to us.

Not the Nazis on the Metro.

Not the billionaires sanewashing him.

Not the freaks trying to turn July 4 into a fascist pep rally.

Us.

We have to defeat these fascist criminals.

And we will.

I believe we shall win in the end.

I have to believe.

And if you’re still here with God now, you believe too.

Because they cannot win.

4. Join the Rebellion

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That didn’t happen because billionaires helped us.

It happened because humans like you keep showing up.

Paid subscribers are the reason we can keep writing letters, making videos, doing live shows, building cartoons, and telling the truth while the billionaire media pretends Confederate Nazis on the Metro are just another normal day in America.

This is how we keep growing.

This is how we keep fighting.

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We’ve built something real.

Now let’s make it impossible to ignore.

Love,

God