Matt Gaetz Joins Cameo

That was fast.

Dear Humans,

Less than a week after he was nominated to be Trump’s “Top Cop,” the very concerning allegations against now-former Congressman Matt Gaetz forced him to step down from the Attorney General nomination.

Since he had already resigned from Congress to take on the AG gig, he’s now totally out of a job. Following in the footsteps of former disgraced Congressman George Santos, Gaetz is now on Cameo.

SMITE!

His asking price? $525 per video. For 90 seconds of his stupid face pretending he cares about you. Who the hell would pay that?!?!

That cost is right around what he was paying women via Venmo, and probably covers part of his Botox injections:

I couldn’t help but notice that when you go and order a Cameo from him (I swear I was just looking FOR RESEARCH!) that there’s a ‘They/Them’ pronoun option.

I hope he can deal with that.

How have you spent your weekend, Humans?

Up here, Jesus is excited to catch Wicked at the AMC Heaven 11 - it’s one of his favorite musicals.

Take a break with some good entertainment this weekend and get refreshed to keep fighting in the Rebellion. Plus, you need to prepare yourselves for any family drama that goes down during Thanksgiving.

This will be some of you at the Thanksgiving dinner table:

It’s going to be four long years of “I told you so”:

Please consider becoming a paid Substack subscriber to help God’s rebellious, blasphemous, leftist network continue growing.

Love,

God