MAGA Melts Down Over Trump’s 50-Year Mortgage Scam
Behold the landlord who wants to make America rent again.
Dear Humans,
Landlord Donold has decided to “fix” the housing crisis the only way he knows how: by turning everyone into tenants for life.
His new scam, a 50-year mortgage, is so staggeringly stupid it could only come from a man who has never paid a bill.
This isn’t a plan to help Americans own homes. It’s a plan to help banks own Americans.
Golden ballrooms while people starve, $20 billion for Argentina while farmers go broke, and now this. Even his most racist fans are getting tired of being jerked around.
1. The Landlord Gospel
Trump has always believed debt is loyalty. The more you owe, the more he owns you.
So now he wants to make sure you owe him and his evil pals forever.
Marjorie Taylor Greene took issue with the scam but failed to call out President Pedophile by name.
“In debt forever, in debt for life,” she wrote. It’s true. Most first time home buyers are now 40 years old and would never live to own their home.
Right wing Sean Davis complained that a 24-year-old college grad already cannot afford a down payment, let alone fifty years of interest.
No shit! But somehow Sean also forgot to mention The Kiddie Diddler by name.
2. The American Nightmare
The cult is finally learning math. Even his most evil, most white supremacist nazi supporters are worried.
Even racist moron Matt Walsh admitted it outright: “Your house will be owned by the bank until you die.”
While MAGA worried about 50 year mortgages, Donold was busy expressing sympathy for Andrew (the pedophile formerly known as Prince).
3. God’s Final Word
Dear MAGA, you let a landlord who bankrupts casinos convince you he was smart. You mistook a slumlord for a savior.
He doesn’t want you to own homes. He wants you to owe him your entire lives.
You traded the American Dream for the American Nightmare. I know how afraid you are of being “woke,” but it’s time to wake up. At least about Donold.
For Christ’s sake, he hates dogs!!
That alone is disqualifying.
4. Join the Rebellion
Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.
We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.
“I’ve always enjoyed your FB posts. I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!” — Nancy
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 18 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
And they are STILL blaming the immigrants?! WTF?! If people who are born here and have at least that going for them can't afford a house, what makes them think that those who come here with nothing more than clothes on their backs have anything to do with it? Don't get rid of the immigrants - get rid of the billionaires!
What do you mean, one can enter for a raffle to win the weed cup? I'd buy one, provided you can ship it out of the country :D
As for Trump's 50-year mortgage plan. Nothing shocks me anymore. Each day is just another rendition of "Idiocracy." I'm not going to put any stock in this statement, because he won't remember he said that within an hour and therefore won't execute on it.