Dear Humans,
Lo, God was browsing the Internet last night and was taken aback by the stupidity of a number of comments posted in response to the State of the Union. They’re building huge concentration camps in every state but they want you to be mad about a single pin.
1. Thou Shalt Pull Thy Head Out Of Thy Butt!
During President Criminal’s 2 hour crapfest on Tuesday night, Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib wore a beautiful piece of flair in the form of a pin that simply said “FUCK ICE.”
Bless that pin! God wants one right now.
But as you can guess, this clothing accessory did not go over well with your average American idiot.
This is allowed because of the First Amendment.
Have you seen the things ICE is doing? They’re murdering citizens, Carley.
The government is run by a cabal of billionaire child rapists and you’re worried about a pin?
2. Someone Named “Bill Maher” Is Mad About Division?
Then another random MAGA account that God has never heard of before named “Bill Maher” went viral by attacking Democrats for not standing or clapping for President Fascism. Which is deeply ironic, because Russian bot accounts like “Bill Maher” have been dividing the USA for years.
God had no choice but to dunk on this fool, whoever they may be.
3. Bless This Olympic Athlete!
Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy posted a photo of the entire cabinet huddled in a circle, locked in prayer. His caption simply said: “This Cabinet knows who is really in charge.”
DO THEY? Have they not seen my constant stream of articles, podcasts, and social media posts? God hates their stupid guts!
Hey, God knows this wasn’t my strongest smite ever. But that’s only because the best possible response to Pete Kegsbreath had already been taken by American Bronze Medal winning fencer Monica Askamit.
Well said, Monica! SMITE!
4. Join The Rebellion!
To thank you for being here today, take 20% off a membership to this community today.
⚡Click here to claim your 20% off blessing.⚡
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
Monica for the win! Gold Medal on Xitter!
If she killed some cops while smearing shit on the walls of the capitol, the MAGAt fucks would stop clutching their pearls and get an erection that definitely lasts longer than four hours. Every, single one of these sub-human, diseased-ridden pieces of rancid shit are stinking up the fucking universe.