MAGA Loses It After Donald Falls In Love With A Muslim Man

The funniest picture of the year.

Dear Humans,

Lo, Trump walked into the Oval Office yesterday expecting a showdown and instead fell madly in love with Zohran Mamdani, who then called him a fascist to his face.

1. Trump Falls Head Over Heels

Zohran Mamdani arrived in the Oval Office and played it cool. He stood there quietly. He praised an FDR portrait. He answered questions like a normal adult.

Then a reporter asked if he still believed Trump is a fascist.

Before Mamdani could speak, Trump chirped, “That’s ok, you can just say yes.”

So he did!!

Yes, you read that right. Zohran played Donald so hard yesterday, he was able to call him a fascist right to his face.

And Trump smiled. He actually smiled. He looked up at Mamdani like a hungry dog looking for a bone…if you know what I mean.

Moments later, Trump told the world that Mamdani is not a jihadist, not whatever the GOP said, actually a great guy, actually very smart, could win over conservatives, already loved by liberals, and has changed Trump’s own views.

Then they took photos in front of FDR. One of the great democratic socialists. You couldn’t script a deeper self-own.

2. The COPE

MAGA instantly lost its collective mind.

Dimwit Tim Pool declared Democrats would turn on Mamdani because of this, which is definitely not going to happen.

Fox News tried to sell it as a “SHOWDOWN WITH SOCIALISM” all day long. Seems like socialism won!

JD Vance tried to play off Donald admitting he’s a fascist as a ‘joke.’

Correct. If the goal was humiliation. It’s the kind of joke where we’re laughing AT YOU, not with you.

JD is just seething that Donald has never looked at him the way he looks at Zohran. Not even once.

While paid MAGA influencers on X tried to spin this as ‘4D Chess.”

Fox Business Analyst Charles Gasparino was able to admit what a stunning self-own this was for Trump.

They spent months painting Mamdani as the final boss of socialism. Trump shattered his whole narrative in ten minutes because Zohran is just that damn charming.

Just in time for Christmas, it’s the love-triangle holiday romantic comedy you didn’t know you needed. Will Donald wind up with his exotic new crush Zohran? Or will Donald finally settle down with hometown JD, who’s been waiting in the wings?

This holiday season, on Lifetime, it’s A Christmas Crush.

3. God’s Final Word

Fox News promised a showdown with socialism. Instead they gave us a live broadcast of Donald catching feelings.

Seriously, Donald physically touched Zohran’s arm four or five times. He hasn’t felt this way since Bubba.

It’s also worth noting that Zohran’s poll numbers are excellent, and Donald’s are the worst in the history of numbers, so of course he’s desperate for some of Mamdani’s popularity to rub off on him, if you know what I mean.

Tangerine Palpatine didn’t just get outplayed. He got outclassed. A genuinely good man walked into the Oval Office and transcended the tyrant inside.

So take heart, humans! For Zohran shows us the way.

We don’t need to fear these bigoted monsters anymore. These men are cowards. When confronted with an unapologetically good person, they crumble.

Love,

God

P.S. - If you’re in a place where you can support this work, it makes a big difference. I offer clarity in a country that’s falling apart. If that gives you some shelter from the storm, your support keeps my voice loud and independent at a time when billionaire fascists would rather I be silenced.

“When I want to scream in rage, you make me laugh. Thank you for taking the unthinkable and putting a humorous twist on the carnage of our nation.” - Jen