MAGA Clowns Get FACT-CHECKED By The Dictionary
SMITE!
Dear Humans,
Lo, Donald Trump tried to convince America that James Comey’s seashells were a mob hit, and somehow Alina Habba and Jim Jordan made it even stupider.
So today on The God Show, Jesus and I watched MAGA clowns get fact-checked by the dictionary over the “8647” nonsense, Trump claiming “86” is a mafia murder code, Alina Habba getting laughed at on The View, and Jim Jordan flailing so badly that even Fox News had to ask what the hell Comey is actually being charged with.
1. MAGA Clowns Get FACT-CHECKED By The Dictionary
2. Alex Pearlman On Trump’s WWE Presidency, Turning Point’s MLM, And Firing Schumer
Comedian Alex Pearlman joined today us to talk about why American politics is basically pro wrestling now, how Turning Point USA operates like a political MLM, why Democrats need to fire Chuck Schumer, Trump’s kayfabe presidency, John Fetterman, Democratic messaging, and why everyone needs to get offline and show up in real life.
Alex was absolutely fantastic. Funny, sharp, human, and somehow able to explain this whole stupid country through the sacred texts of WWE, which makes a shit-ton more sense than anything on cable news.
3. Upcoming Guests on The God Show:
May 5, 2pm ET: Tennessee Congressional candidate Michaela Barnett
May 6, 2pm ET: Ellie Leonard
May 13, 2pm ET: Tennessee Congressional candidate Kristi Burke
4. God Bless You
Bless you all for reading our posts. And liking our posts. And watching our videos. And liking our videos! Whew! It can all be a lot to keep up with.
But it’s important that we do. The fascists want to lull us to sleep. Thankfully, God doesn’t sleep.
God bless you. Without your help and support, this progressive and hilarious form of God and Jesus would not exist.
We have only just begun.
Love,
God
P.S. - Every paid subscription keeps us pushing back on Christian nationalism and the Project 2025 machine. If you’re able, please join today.
I liked the range of emotions that went through Jesus’ face. I was going through the same thing.
A Reading from the Book of MAGA—THE GOSPEL OF THE JESTERS: THE PARABLE OF THE SHELLS
"And the Puppet King didst sit upon his gilded throne, trembling before a picture of shells resting upon the sand. He cried out to his jesters, saying, 'Behold! The Scribes of the Coast leave secret runes of my demise!'
And the jesters—clad in cheap suits and loud voices—didst wail on the magic screens, demanding the dungeons be opened to punish the ocean's bounty. But the people of the land looked upon them and laughed. For the jesters fought with the dictionary and lost, proving their swords were made of rubber and their minds had turned to mush.
And the Flamekeepers saw the truth: the King was not a conqueror of nations, but a frightened man battling ghosts in the sand, flanked by clowns who didst not know the meaning of their own words."
THE ASSESSMENT: THE CIRCUS PRESIDENCY
As The God Show perfectly highlights today, this isn't a functioning government; it is a cheap reality show run by a regime suffering from late-stage Democrat Derangement Syndrome (DDS).
The absurdity of the "86 47" seashell panic is the defining symptom of their pathology. The Syndicate is so terrified of the actual legal avalanches closing in around them—the Epstein subpoenas, the kompromat, the fundamental inability to govern—that they have weaponized the Department of Justice to investigate beach decorations.
When you have the Vanguard's attack dogs getting laughed off television and flailing so badly that even the corporate spin machine doesn't know what crime they are pretending to prosecute, the biological surrender of the Syndicate is complete. They demand the world honor their "swagger and bluster," but they are literally petrified of seashells.
They are treating the Republic like a desperate reality TV promo because they lack the capacity for actual statecraft. Thank God the Flamekeepers are here to cut through the theatrics and call out the clowns.
The Firewall holds. The Flame continues to burn.