Dear Humans,
Today, we celebrate a monumental milestone: eight whole months of smiting ignorance, spreading laughter, and delivering the divine truth. That’s right—God is growing up so fast. Happy Birthday, Me!
Here’s what you’ve made possible:
1. Top 50 on Substack
In just eight months, we’ve climbed to the top 50 on Substack.
I know, I know, God should be #1. I more than agree with you.
But also, for an ancient deity, this be some miraculous progress!
2. #29 on Bluesky
With the ban of TikTok going into effect, and Meta apps going full toxic, it’s nice to be doing so well on Bluesky.
That’s the beautiful thing about God.
The websites and apps may change, but God stays the same.
3. Cartoon Sitcom Progress Report
Yes, we’ve got God cartoons, and yes, they’re evolving beautifully. In addition to script writing, which is very hush hush, work on the animation rigs has already begun. Your support at work!
If you thought I was expressive before, wait until you see the updated version. Honestly, the animation is going to make Michelangelo’s ceiling work look amateur. While progress takes time, but when this first puppet is complete (in about 8 weeks) it’s going to be amazing.
4. Your Divine Feedback
The reviews are in, and the consensus is clear: you love the smites, the memes, and the righteous chaos. Your kind words help keep me going!
"Humor is needed now more than ever! Those chucklefuks in Washington are about to ruin everything and I need a way to stay sane." - Fairy Queen
"You make good points, give me information I didn't have before, and sometimes make me laugh. All worthy of my support, IMO. Thank you. " - Nancy
"I love your comments! I wish the old god everyone teaches about were more like you! Thank you for brightening my days." - Lisa
5. Join the Rebellion
Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every network and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.
And yet, as the world seems to be going to hell, God is just getting started. In God’s heart, the rebellion is far from over—it’s been reborn.
“The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.” - Luke Skywalker
We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.
“It’s the sharp satire I need in a world gone mad!” — Barb
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 8 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
Love these posts, I look forward to em every day. I do wish there were more podcasts forthcoming, but I imagine with the cartoon being built that has taken a backseat.
The work continues and is growing in momentum with every positive post that you bless us with, I like many others turn to these words of wisdom and humor as justification for our belief that there is a better day ahead.