Dear Humans,
We here in heaven love sweet, sweet justice. We also love comedy. We also love The Onion.
So consider us absolutely thrilled to share that THE ONION is buying INFOWARS after Alex Jones’s failed company entered bankruptcy, following the court ordered payout they had to make to Sandy Hook victims’ families.
*deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Damn, I wish I had the idea to buy them. Or the funds!
Did anyone have this on their 2024 Bingo Card? I sure didn’t!
The Onion now owns EVERYTHING InfoWars
In a statement, the owners of The Onion confirmed that they own EVERYTHING, including Alex Jones’ desk, the broadcast equipment, the scam supplements he sells his brainwashed supporters. ALL OF IT.
Alex Jones only learned about The Onion acquiring InfoWars when everyone else did (This morning), and he was live on air! when it happened! We have video of this hilarious SMITE below.
As if this couldn’t get more embarrassing, watch the moment when he was talking with fellow Satanic MAGA Republican Steve Bannon on the phone, and Jones had to cut him off because Bannon was about to lose his mind.
Jones then hits his knee on his now-Onion-owned desk as he scrambles off set. Don’t you love a cherry-on-top smite on top of a mega smite??
And watch Jones’ announcement that he was being shut down this morning. Naturally he can’t help but blame the Deep State for this:
I can’t wait to see what The Onion does with the site.
The LORD thy God is so inspired by this satirical stroke of genius, I shall be looking for my own opportunities to troll as well.
What should I buy? LOL…
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Jones said," Attack on free speech" I think he means Attack on free LIES! A most worthy SMITE indeed!
Smited, indeed!