JD Vance’s Idiocy Accidentally Renews Calls To Release The Epstein Files
A letter from God to JD Vance.
Dear Humans,
On Sunday, Satan’s personal fluffer JD Vance went on Fox News to claim the Epstein files are full of Democrats. If that’s true, why won’t Trump release them?
1. A Letter From God To JD Vance:
Hello JD, it’s God.
On August 10, 2025 you said:
“We know that Jeffrey Epstein had a lot of connections with leftwing politicians and leftwing billionaires … Democrat billionaires and Democrat political leaders went to Epstein island all the time. Who knows what they did.”
JD, if any Democrat billionaires or politicians did something in the Epstein Files, then why not release them immediately?!? Why help them escape justice?
Take a break from oiling up Satan’s asshole and stop list-teasing us, James.
Everyone already knows Donald Trump is in those ME-DAMNED Epstein files so forking much it took 1,000 FBI agents — working in 24 hour shifts for months — to comb through over 100,000 documents and redact every single mention of his name.
Remember when you called Trump America’s Hitler? And cultural heroin?
Remember when you called him a cynical asshole, JD? God remembers.
Last week your boss Donold Cankles walked around on the roof of The White House and yelled about nuclear weapons in a desperate bid to distract from allegations that he is a child sex trafficker.
TODAY he is deploying 1,000 National Guard members into D.C. because a DOGE staffer named “Big Balls” got beat up there.
And yet…when armed insurrectionists stormed the Capitol on January 6th, Trump did not call up the National Guard or the Marines. He just sneered at all the coverage of the violent mob he had just incited.
JD, no matter what you or Donold try, your comments sections will still be filled with people saying: RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!
Burn in Hell, JD Vance. 🔥
God
2. Don’t Give Up, Humans
Dear Humans,
I know many of you feel terrified, depressed, and grieving the state of the world. You are watching the corrupt flaunt their power, daring you to lose hope.
That is the point.
They want you to believe nothing you do matters.
The fact that they are still running cover, still desperately staging distractions, and still hiding those Epstein files means your voices matter more than they will ever admit.
Every time you call them out, you remind the world that truth is still louder than their lies.
"I need something to keep me off the ledge. And out from under the covers. You're It, Lord." - Kate
"I support your work because I started following you on Bluesky and need a laugh once in a while" - Sharon
"I really appreciate the work you’re doing. I subscribed to a year so that other people who can’t afford to, can still read your work. Thank you" — Strega
Join us. The fascists aren’t slowing down, but neither are we. God will never stop fighting for truth, justice, and comedy.
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Now go forth and smite some fascism today.
Love,
God
There are only two possible reasons.
1) They aren't (and Trump is all over the files).
2) They are (and Trump is all over the files).
Either way, Trump is alllllllll over the Epstein files.
Thank you God for continuing to be the ultimate truth teller. Appreciate your daily letters and podcasts. And thank you for reminding us we have power when we are TOGETHER. Smite on!!!