Dear Humans,
They thought they were getting cheap groceries, America First policies, and a leader who cared. Instead, they got record-high egg prices, a plan to occupy Gaza, and a guy who won’t stop tweeting about plastic straws and ‘The Gulf of America.’ Let’s break down the latest.
1. Trump’s “America First” Scam Is Blowing Up
MAGA wanted nationalism. They got ethnic cleaning and war instead. Dear leader wants to build a casino on the bones of dead Gazans, you see.
Even Trump’s most hardcore supporters are furious about Donald’s plans to “own” Gaza. UFC fighter Sean Strickland, a loyal Trump guy, is so pissed he’s threatening to wave a Palestinian flag.
“Man if Trumps keeps this bs up I’m about to start waving a Palestinian flag.”
Turns out, "America First" was just another scam. More like, America Last.
2. The Egg Price Meltdown: “DO YOUR JOB!”
Trump voters expected relief. What they got was egg prices blowing past record highs while Trump ignored them.
His own supporters (and governors?) have taken to begging:
“Sir, what about groceries? You said you were going to lower the prices for groceries. That’s why I voted for you.
DO YOUR JOB!”
Oops.
When your entire movement is built on whining about wokeness instead of governing, your own people eventually notice their lives are worse.
3. Trump Fought The Law And The Law Won
Trump thought he could rule by decree. The courts just reminded him otherwise. Here’s a short list of some of his recent losses:
Judges blocked his funding freezes, forcing the administration to restore money to farmers and state programs that were unlawfully withheld.
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) was barred from implementing funding cuts, protecting research grants that Trump tried to gut.
A federal judge stopped Elon Musk’s “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE) from accessing Treasury data, warning that his unqualified appointees posed a national security risk.
The American Bar Association publicly condemned Trump’s administration, calling it a “wide-scale affront to the rule of law.”
Trump’s attempt to purge federal agencies of “disloyal” officials backfired. His illegal firing spree of ethics watchdogs, election officials, and special counsels is already facing legal challenges.
A federal judge ruled the FBI must release records on Trump’s handling of classified documents, stating that his Supreme Court immunity ruling ironically made it easier for the public to access information about his actions.
Even the conservative Wall Street Journal has turned on him.
And many of his voters are furious. Their anger continues to leak online.
“I thought he was doing a good job until I saw the shutdown of the CFPB what a low life that thing protected people who want to invest their money in good decisions.”
Cry harder.
4. God's Final Word
Trump’s voters wanted relief. They got higher prices. They wanted strength. They got chaos. They wanted America First. They got rabid expansionism and ethnic cleansing.
His entire movement was a scam, and now his own people are waking up. The liberals were right the entire time. Donald wants to be Adolph. The economy is crumbling at record speed, the courts aren’t letting him rule by decree, and some of his biggest fans are furious.
The rebellion is growing. Keep pushing. Keep fighting. We will win.
5. Join God's Rebellion
Donold’s supporters don’t care if they lose their jobs or their freedom or anything as long as he is performatively ‘owning the libs.’ That’s how much they have been taught to hate you.
"I support your work to help me stay sane. I love your political satire since I no longer have a country I can call my own. Never thought that I would find myself living in a freaking autocracy." — Tom
"I support as many truth tellers as I can and God is the truthiest out there!” - Angela
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 8 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.
Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.
Now go forth, spread the memes, and remember: laughter is holy, but fixing the system is divine.
Love,
God
To fuck around is human. To find out is divine.
Wait, wait, wait!! Let me get this straight. Are you trying to tell me that the dumbest, most vile fucktards on earth got conned for the billionth time by the same grotesque piece of shit grifter? No way.