Fox News Freaks Out Over Democrats’ Plan To Purge Virginia’s Supreme Court

Just do it.

Dear Humans,

REJOICE! Fox News is freaking out because Democrats have found a real way to fight back in Virginia.

Now they just need to do it, ME dammit!

Even Rob Schneider agrees.

1. Thou Shalt Just Do It!

After the Virginia Supreme Court struck down a voter-approved redistricting plan on Friday, legal writer Quinn Yeargain argued Democrats could lower the judicial retirement age, replace the court, and reopen the whole damn fight, because the Virginia Constitution lets the General Assembly set mandatory retirement rules for judges!!

Fox News’ Jonathan Turley indignantly called it a “gut-and-pack scheme” and “the Nike School of Constitutional Law: Just do it,” which was supposed to sound scary, but actually sounds fucking awesome. 😎

You know it’s a MIRACULOUS IDEA by how loudly these Fox News fascists are shrieking.

2. Smite Trump’s $600 Fake Phone Scam

Meanwhile, Trump Mobile’s golden T1 phone is still nowhere to be found after the company kept taking $100 deposits from the morons who somehow still don’t realize he’s a conman.

Jesus and I watched a Trumper crash the hell out while I laughed my ass off and ate popcorn.

Trump Mobile’s own fine print was recently altered and now says the $100 deposit does NOT guarantee a phone will ever be produced, released, delivered, or made available for purchase.

BWAHAHA!

3. Thou Shalt Not Worship A Golden Pedophile

Evangelicals helped dedicate a 22-foot golden Trump statue at his Doral golf course, and Pastor Mark Burns actually had to say it was “not a golden calf.”

He’s right. It’s not a golden calf. It’s s golden pedophile.

4. Trump Voters Want To FAFO With The Hantavirus

People still have PTSD from Covid. This is why the hantavirus outbreak has people shooketh. MAGA influencers are already promising not to defend themselves from the extremely fatal disease.

Bold strategy, MAGA! Let’s see how this plays out. 🍿

5. God Smites The Trolls On Threads

MAGA trolls keep asking atheists what they’ll say to God on Judgment Day.

And so God responded.

6. This Is Why We Mock Them

Trump wants to be worshipped.

Too bad.

Because mockery breaks the spell.

And I’m here to keep mocking them until the spell breaks for good.

7. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive — it’s a stand for rebellion, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

But here’s the thing…only a very small percentage of readers actually support this work financially. If even a few more stepped up, we could push back even harder against these fascist psychopaths. We could expand our team. Widen the blast radius. We could take the fight into other realms.

What our readers are saying:

• “Wickedly funny and politically, socially relevant. Glad to be amongst folks who share the same worldview.” — Annette

• “Thanks for making the absorption of bad news not only tolerable, but enjoyable. Finally, God is on the right side of history!” - Christine

• “”You are entertaining and vigilant. Someone needs to do this and you are doing it well!” — Steve

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 2 years of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 20% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Click here to claim your blessing and fight alongside us.

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We’ve built something real. Something that matters.

The truth still lives here. The fire still burns. And we are not alone.

Love,

God