Canada Targets Red States In Trade War

FAFO, hoser.

Dear Humans,

Lo, Trump’s idiotic trade war hath begun. Canada is fighting back HARD and in the most hilarious way possible. Oh Canada…verily ye art awesome.

Yes, William Shatner is Canadian. He was born on March 22, 1931 in Montreal, Quebec.

1. Canada Has Had Enough Of Donald

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has had it with Trump’s bullshit. Canada announced a 25% tariff on $155 billion worth of U.S. goods, and they’re not being shy about who will feel the pain: red states. From crude oil to lumber, Canada is hitting MAGA country where it hurts most—in their wallets.

Mr. Trudeau is 100% right, of course. This betrayal is not only pure evil, it shows the extent of the madness of King Donald. He truly does think he can make Canada the 51st state. This will never happen.

2. The Boo Heard ‘Round the World

Nothing captures the growing resentment toward Trump’s America like Canadians booing the U.S. national anthem during an NHL game in Ottawa. Known for their politeness, Canadians have reached their breaking point. The nicest people on the planet are frigging pissed off.

3. Targeting Trump’s Base Where It Hurts

Canada’s targeted tariffs are only the beginning. Here’s what’s coming for MAGA country:

• Potash: Nearly 90% of U.S. potash (used in fertilizer) comes from Canada. Food prices? Prepare to skyrocket.

• Lumber: Over 30% of U.S. lumber is imported from Canada. Say goodbye to affordable housing.

• Oil: More than 50% of U.S. crude oil imports come from Canada. Gas prices? Through the roof.

To make matters worse, U.S. automakers are warning that Trump’s tariffs could shut down factories on both sides of the border. Red states that rely on Honda and Toyota plants will face massive job losses.

4. God’s Final Word

Oh red states, all thou hadst to do was not vote for a 34-time convicted felon. But lo, ye chose poorly, and now you shall bear the brunt of his folly.

Canada, once the most patient of neighbors, hath no fucks left to give. They have smote thee with tariffs, and still, ye refuse to see reason.

Oh look, King Dumbfuck posted this morning about it.

Canada’s response? FAFO, Hoser.

5. Join The Rebellion

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Love,

God