Bless The Utah Women Who Just Destroyed Billionaire Kevin O’Leary

He accused them of being "Chinese operatives."

Dear Humans,

Lo, Utah women humiliated Kevin O’Leary after he accused them of being Chinese operatives, President Epstein may have pooped himself in China, and God smote a MAGA troll with one word.

Grab your popcorn, humans. It’s time for God’s Morning Report.

1. Utah Women Destroy Kevin O’Leary After He Calls Them Chinese Spies

Canadian billionaire and hat enthusiast Kevin O’Leary accused local Utah organizers of being tied to China because they dared oppose his new giant AI data center there.

Then hero Gabi Finlayson responded, and lo, Mr. Wonderful got absolutely cooked.

Top three lines:

“If we’re Chinese operatives, we’re catastrophically bad at it.”

“Someone please tell Beijing the payment portal for our American Express bills appears to be broken.”

“The only foreign actor here is the Canadian billionaire pretending he cares about Utah more than the people who live here.”

Bless Gabi! Bless Elevate Strategies. Bless everyone out there raging against this machine with humor and class.

2. Trump POOPS HIMSELF In China

Did he shit himself? What can I say? We’re asking the important questions here at The God Show.

And much like Trump’s diaper, our video exploded overnight.

Watch God and Jesus investigate the Kung Fu Poo-Poo incident here:

3. God Smote A Troll With One Word

Meanwhile on Threads, a MAGA account begged Americans to stop embarrassing the country by criticizing Donald Trump.

WTF?!!

God had no choice but to smite!

4. Our Team Has Grown Thanks To Your Support

BEHOLD! A rough animatic of Jesus taking the wheel!

I know it may not seem like much yet, but I’ve been waiting to see this kind of progress for a long, long time.

This is only the beginning. Get ready for our videos to become more divinely amaze-balls than ever.

Anything is possible now.

God ugly cried.

5. Your Reviews Are In

Paid subscriber Sallie wrote:

“I decided to take you up on subscription offer. Because I liked your writing style 😊 and I could afford it. I’m hoping you have satire too.”

Bless you, Sallie. We do indeed have satire. Lo, we have satire in bulk. Costco levels of satire.

6. A Message From God

Kevin O’Leary has billionaires and TV networks.

Trump has Fox, oligarchs, and every fascist prick with a checkbook.

We have jokes, receipts, videos, interviews, animation, and people like you.

That’s how we fight back. Not by becoming them, but by telling the truth louder and funnier.

Only a tiny percentage of readers support this work financially. If a few more step up today, we can keep expanding the team, making better videos, and getting this work in front of more people.

If you’ve been reading for a while and meaning to support this work, now’s the time. If that sounds good, press the blue button below:

Paid subscribers keep this whole ridiculous machine alive and help us grow bigger every month.

And we’re just getting started.

Bless you, humans.

Love,

God