Dear Humans,
Lo, last night Donold John Trump went on 60 Minutes and blurted out “I am not a pedophile!”
God looked upon this, and saw that it was funny. And so I have provided the video of this hilarious historical event, as well as an image that lays out the key exchange. After you take a look, let me know what you think about all this down in the comments.
TRUMP GOES FULL NIXON!
Whether it’s a panic-stricken Melania suddenly denying she ever met Epstein, or a panic-stricken Donald desperately denying he’s a pedophile, it’s VERY CLEAR the Epstein files ain’t gonna go away.
NIXON (1973): “I am not a crook.”
TRUMP (2026): “I am not a pedophile. I am not a rapist.”
But the absolute best part was when Norah O’Donnell said:
“Oh, do you think he was referring to you?”
Donald is a disgrace for continuing to say he was “totally exonerated” when:
His administration broke the law when they violated the Epstein Transparency Act, heavily redacting and covering up the files.
Credible allegations were released by Pam Bondi’s DOJ against Donald Trump from a 13-year-old girl.
He attacked Iran that weekend.
He fired Pam Bondi before she was supposed to testify.
He is openly planning on pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell.
He is an adjudicated rapist.
New Commandments
Thou shalt mock Donald John “I am not a pedophile!” Trump for the rest of his days!
Thou shalt also care this much about shootings when they happen at a school!
Thou shalt not let fascist bots gaslight you! Thou shalt never give up hope!
Give Donald The Middle Finger Today
Trump and his MAGA billionaires can buy the media. They can try to distract. But the Epstein files ain’t going away. And neither are we.
If you want to give Donald the middle finger today, then support the voices he can’t control. The people telling the truth when corporate media won’t.
If you're not a pedophile, you shouldn't have to say "I'm not a pedophile".
"I am not a rapist. I didn't rape anybody." says the adjudicated rapist.