Bless The Kids Who Shut Down Scientology

Good job, Jesus.

Dear Humans,

Lo, and the Lord saw what the kids were doing and said “the kids are alright.”

1. The Kids Are Alright

For decades, survivors, journalists, filmmakers, Leah Remini, South Park, Anonymous, and every person with a functioning bullshit detector have warned the world about Scientology.

None of it slowed them down for even a second.

Lo, and then in 2026, a bunch of TikTok kids in broccoli haircuts came along and said, “Broh, what if we just ran up inside and filmed it?”

The trend is called “speed-running.”

The goal is simple: run into a Scientology building, film the weirdness, see how far you can get, and escape.

HARK! I say unto thee: sometimes civilization advances because one brave idiot in a hot dog costume chooses chaos.

I would know.

Behold, a 9 minute montage of kids speed-running the Scientology building.

2. They Shut Down The Recruitment Funnel

Scientology’s Hollywood street-level scam depends on open doors, smiling greeters, fake personality tests, and luring lost souls into their cult.

A normal person walking down Hollywood Boulevard ends up being told their sadness can be cured if they just hand over their wallet and submit to space therapy from Tom Cruise until death or bankruptcy by Act of Xenu.

So bless these TikTok kids for forcing the dangerous Scientology cult to lock doors and remove their handles.

That’s all it took to shutdown their entire L.A. scam factory.

And behold, that shit is funny as hell.

3. God’s Final Word

This is bigger than Scientology, of course. Republicans have already tried speed-running the government. It was called January 6.

Well, now progressive people need to speed-run the entire pedo-kleptocracy establishment and shut them down, too.

Americans are drowning in cult logic and have been for some time now.

Worship the pedophilic leader! Ignore the abuse! Attack the survivors! Never question anything, peasant! You will watch what we tell you to watch! You will listen to who we tell you to listen!

Corporate media has sane-washed all of this. All of their condescending strategists, lawyers, and TV personalities have led us to nothing but wreck and ruin.

Why, just look at the results. The Republicans started an electoral civil war. But unlike the Democrats, they don’t care about asking the voters. They just change the rules via executive order / tweet.

In the long run, which method do you think will be more effective?

Donald Trump is now openly saying:

1. He cannot allow there to be any election result he doesn’t like.

2. He will make you vote over and over again until he gets the result he likes.

Of course, President Pedophile is so deeply unpopular, it doesn’t matter how many times he makes you vote. Because he will lose every single time.

People are ready to walk over hot coals to vote against these monsters. Because sources like us have been bravely calling out his lies since day 1.

And this is why mockery MATTERS. Once people stop fearing the cult and start laughing at it, their spell is broken.

I’m here to mock the corrupt, tell the simple truth, and smite every cult, con man, and fascist freak in existence.

I’m here to smite their lies…and I’m ready to fight.

4. Join the Rebellion

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive — it’s a stand for rebellion, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

But here’s the thing…only a very small percentage of readers actually support this work financially. If even a few more stepped up, we could push back even harder against these fascist psychopaths. We could expand our team. Widen the blast radius. We could take the fight into other realms.

What our readers are saying:

• “Wickedly funny and politically, socially relevant. Glad to be amongst folks who share the same worldview.” — Annette

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The truth still lives here. The fire still burns. And we are not alone.

Love,

God