Ballroom Boy Suddenly Trying To Sound Like Zohran

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Dear Humans,

BEHOLD! Ballroom Boy Donald Trump is now suddenly trying to sound exactly like Zohran Mamdani.

Gee, did something happen? 😂

1. Are You Fucking Kidding God?!?

After getting humiliated by a Muslim Democratic Socialist, Syphllisaurus Rex is now pretending to care about Americans again.

He’s deliberately starving 42 million Americans RIGHT NOW so he can use their hunger as leverage against the Democrats in his Neverending Epstein Government Shutdown Story.

God must repeat that. He’s starving Americans. On purpose!!!

He claims to care about affordability?!? LOL. Don’t make God laugh. He just had a lavish Gatsby party with exotic dancers.

And didn’t he just run on the price of eggs last year? And then immediately admit he doesn’t care about costs coming down?! No really, he specifically said he couldn’t care less!

And now he sends “love to the American people”?? LOL. Sounds like someone is very worried about the midterms! 😂

Yesterday, he told a crowd that you need photo ID to buy groceries.

That’s not a joke. He actually believes it. Because he’s never had to buy groceries for himself in his entire life. Not even once.

He could never understand what affordability is. Or numbers for that matter, Remember, President Epstein somehow bankrupted a casino.

He will be tossed into the dumpster fire of history and burn in hell for all eternity. You know, like Dick Cheney.

2. God’s Final Word

Zohran Mamdani didn’t just win. His ideas are so popular he just made a terrified conman mimic the language of love and affordability.

Bless Zohran for that.

Bless Jedi Master Mamdani for scaring Tangerine Palpatine into desperately pretending he’s human.

He’s going to try and lie his way out of this. And God will not let it happen!

Not now, not ever!!

Because I REFUSE to let these Nazi incels and billionaire perverts win!!!

3. Join the Rebellion!

Humanity is at a crossroads. Donold Trump is coming for all of us who dare to oppose him. Every corporate media network, social media app, and billionaire has bent the knee to his fascist ambitions.

We’re risking everything to stand against him and his goons, bringing truth and laughter to the fight. Your support doesn’t just keep this radical leftist network alive—it’s a stand for resistance, survival, and the freedom to call out miserable pricks like him.

• “Dear God, I just subscribed after lurking for free for a while. So in return, please answer my modest prayer, which is this: I have a word. It is ICEHOLES. I’m sure in your omniscience you know exactly who I am talking about. The Word needs to be used far and wide, who better to help with that than the Almighty? Get Jesus to help too. Full disclosure, I’m a casual Buddhist. Hope that’s OK.” - Carl

• “I’ve always enjoyed your FB posts. I HAD to find something uplifting to do to spark a shot of hope through the darkness. This is it! Hallelujah!” — Nancy

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. To celebrate 18 months of smiting ignorance, we’re offering 25% off—but only until midnight tonight. Think of it as an investment in the forces of truth and satire.

Now go forth, smite the wicked, and remember: making billionaires cry is doing the Lord’s work.

Love,

God